Crumbs lays asleep in the living room. I want to shoo him off to a soft bed,
with closed curtains and a closed door, allowing him the ability to sleep.
And then sleep some more. Crumbs returned to us yesterday and I feel
that I was handed the biggest compliment in the world and am unsure what to do with it.
with closed curtains and a closed door, allowing him the ability to sleep.
And then sleep some more. Crumbs returned to us yesterday and I feel
that I was handed the biggest compliment in the world and am unsure what to do with it.
I have never been good with compliments, they always seem unjustified
and all the gremlins within, seem to unite and voice their reasons of doubt and inadequacy.
and all the gremlins within, seem to unite and voice their reasons of doubt and inadequacy.
We first met Crumbs last year, amidst the most chaotic pct hosting night,
of our hosting hobby. 11 plus guests, plus our family and a zoo to boot.
of our hosting hobby. 11 plus guests, plus our family and a zoo to boot.
Crumbs was off trail with a fractured foot and the time he stayed with us was
the beginning of our connection or soul re-connection. We shared thoughts,
perspectives, books and experiences. We talked about the journey of ourselves and
kept in touch after he begrudgingly, left the trail and returned home, to tend to his physical ailments.
the beginning of our connection or soul re-connection. We shared thoughts,
perspectives, books and experiences. We talked about the journey of ourselves and
kept in touch after he begrudgingly, left the trail and returned home, to tend to his physical ailments.
Crumbs returned this year to complete the trail from start to finish, despite having
done the first 560+ miles last year.
done the first 560+ miles last year.
I thought he was crazy to walk the desert again but was thrilled that he would be coming
through Tehachapi. We anticipated him throughout the hiking season and was thrilled to
finally have him in our space again, at the end of June.
through Tehachapi. We anticipated him throughout the hiking season and was thrilled to
finally have him in our space again, at the end of June.
He brought with him, his “trail wife” whom he was en-raped with. As she devoured meat
and he remained faithful to his vegetarian ways, we laughed at the humor and silently wondered
how long this marriage would last. I did not get to really see Crumbs, despite him being in our
space, his energy was elsewhere and I just hoped it would treat him well and tend to his amazing
mind and soul, as they set back out on trail.
and he remained faithful to his vegetarian ways, we laughed at the humor and silently wondered
how long this marriage would last. I did not get to really see Crumbs, despite him being in our
space, his energy was elsewhere and I just hoped it would treat him well and tend to his amazing
mind and soul, as they set back out on trail.
Crumbs continued walking, he kept walking after the awkward trail divorce and he kept walking
through the states. I would get messages notifying me, that he is in Oregon and then Washington.
250 miles to go to the border, making plans to come down to walk the 27 miles missed in
southern California and then will make it to Tehachapi. The messages were sporadic and sparse.
The last messages were a brief interaction of myself saying I am unable to pick him
up in Lancaster and a picture of the bus schedule showed his bus will be dropping him
off at 1:38.
through the states. I would get messages notifying me, that he is in Oregon and then Washington.
250 miles to go to the border, making plans to come down to walk the 27 miles missed in
southern California and then will make it to Tehachapi. The messages were sporadic and sparse.
The last messages were a brief interaction of myself saying I am unable to pick him
up in Lancaster and a picture of the bus schedule showed his bus will be dropping him
off at 1:38.
We arrived two minutes late and was happy to stop in the middle of the
parking lot to hug a weary Crumbs and throw his pack in the back of the car.
parking lot to hug a weary Crumbs and throw his pack in the back of the car.
Fatigue and a calm covered him, he was present, at peace and hungry. As we got him fed,
I began to hear of his last two days and yet I was hearing it all in reverse,
from the present backward down the number line, instead of the last couple days to the present.
I began to hear of his last two days and yet I was hearing it all in reverse,
from the present backward down the number line, instead of the last couple days to the present.
It started with him saying how his friend/ride from the trail had decided to venture
down a steep ravine to wait for Crumbs and meanwhile, Crumbs had already gone
pass that part of the trail and was blissfully and then stress fully waiting for his ride,
without cell reception. It took them a few hours to find each other and thus resulted
in a rushed drive to Lancaster, to be dropped off at the bus stop. Prior to that he had
walked the final 15 miles of the trail, after his last night sleeping on the pct, his last
night of being a 2018 pct hiker. He had done 15 miles that day, but prior to doing
those 15 miles he had woken up at 3:30 am to catch a flight from Canada to lax,
get picked up by a friend and driven to the point of trail that he needed to finish.
down a steep ravine to wait for Crumbs and meanwhile, Crumbs had already gone
pass that part of the trail and was blissfully and then stress fully waiting for his ride,
without cell reception. It took them a few hours to find each other and thus resulted
in a rushed drive to Lancaster, to be dropped off at the bus stop. Prior to that he had
walked the final 15 miles of the trail, after his last night sleeping on the pct, his last
night of being a 2018 pct hiker. He had done 15 miles that day, but prior to doing
those 15 miles he had woken up at 3:30 am to catch a flight from Canada to lax,
get picked up by a friend and driven to the point of trail that he needed to finish.
Crumbs had literally ended his thru hike of the pct at our home. The journey, the trail,
the planes, trains and automobiles, he worked his way to our home.
the planes, trains and automobiles, he worked his way to our home.
I just want to ask him, why here? And what do I do with a compliment like this? And
I am so grateful that you find our home a space of rest. And I love this in you.
I am so grateful that you find our home a space of rest. And I love this in you.
I desperately needed this “biggest compliment in the world” or maybe it is a wink
from the universe. My current days are spent in question over this journey I am on.
This internal pursuit to live a life of balance, peace, gratitude, acceptance and grace.
To live a life authentic and good. Is it worth it when your own child is choosing the
opposite and you are helpless to change anything? Does the energy of good “win”
over evil? Does the feeding of the good wolf within me, have any effect on the his
choice to feed his bad wolf? In these turbulent days, it does not seem like it.
It appears that the bad wolf overshadows and licks his lips, with desire to devour
the good wolf in us all. It currently appears that evil is far more dominant, is winning.
from the universe. My current days are spent in question over this journey I am on.
This internal pursuit to live a life of balance, peace, gratitude, acceptance and grace.
To live a life authentic and good. Is it worth it when your own child is choosing the
opposite and you are helpless to change anything? Does the energy of good “win”
over evil? Does the feeding of the good wolf within me, have any effect on the his
choice to feed his bad wolf? In these turbulent days, it does not seem like it.
It appears that the bad wolf overshadows and licks his lips, with desire to devour
the good wolf in us all. It currently appears that evil is far more dominant, is winning.
And then I get these winks from the universe, God with skin on, validation from the
forest, encouragement from the wind, good will win. My internal pursuit might not
be able to help my son at this moment, but it is where Crumbs chose to end his
hike, it is where I live, it is my world and I will continue to accept winks from the
universe, I will continue to pursue an authentic, good, balanced, peaceful, grateful,
accepted and grace-filled life.
forest, encouragement from the wind, good will win. My internal pursuit might not
be able to help my son at this moment, but it is where Crumbs chose to end his
hike, it is where I live, it is my world and I will continue to accept winks from the
universe, I will continue to pursue an authentic, good, balanced, peaceful, grateful,
accepted and grace-filled life.
Thank you Crumbs, thank you universe.
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