All the things, no one told me about motherhood and a few things they did
- Kids will take you both to hell and heaven.
- You don’t know anything
- You spend the day of birth and forever onward in awe,
amazement, with a sprinkle of disappointment. - Kids will make you feel like a hero
- Kids will make you feel like the
shittiest person on earth - Kids will expand you, in dimensions
you did not know exists - Everything passes through time, faster than
you wish, and sometimes not - You are just along for the ride
- 1. Kids will take you both to hell and heaven
My friend’s favorite quote is, “The mind is its own place and in itself,
can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” - John Milton.
This can be so true, when it is only in your mind, that you reside, but
kids have a way of yanking you from that place and dragging you whenever
they choose. Kids will take you both to hell and heaven, in the same day,
daily. Sometimes they won’t even let you have a lapse between travel.
One moment, your child is in your arms, telling stories and blowing your
mind with their cuteness and the next they are uncontrollably fighting
with anyone and anything.
kids have a way of yanking you from that place and dragging you whenever
they choose. Kids will take you both to hell and heaven, in the same day,
daily. Sometimes they won’t even let you have a lapse between travel.
One moment, your child is in your arms, telling stories and blowing your
mind with their cuteness and the next they are uncontrollably fighting
with anyone and anything.
One of the hardest part of motherhood is staying out of hell,
when exhaustion and frustrations have led you longing to just lie on the
floor and scream, kick and cry, with your child.
Do it but then you have to show your child how, even you, have the
ability to not stay in hell and pull your big girl panties up to show
up to heaven, once more.
when exhaustion and frustrations have led you longing to just lie on the
floor and scream, kick and cry, with your child.
Do it but then you have to show your child how, even you, have the
ability to not stay in hell and pull your big girl panties up to show
up to heaven, once more.
2. You don’t know anything
I could honestly just leave this sentence to stand on its own. After
four kids, it has been confirmed that I don’t know anything. I might
know something for someone, but all data collected from the participated
subjects, they have affirmed me, I don’t know anything. The minute
I might think I know something, well one of the four is sure to
take that opportunity to turn the world upside down.
four kids, it has been confirmed that I don’t know anything. I might
know something for someone, but all data collected from the participated
subjects, they have affirmed me, I don’t know anything. The minute
I might think I know something, well one of the four is sure to
take that opportunity to turn the world upside down.
Don’t get me confused with growing. Kids have you growing constantly,
but as far as your ability
to know anything, that my dear mother, is not, for our taking.
but as far as your ability
to know anything, that my dear mother, is not, for our taking.
3. You spend the day of birth and everyday onward in awe,
amazement and disappointment
If I could have had anyone sum up motherhood for me, this would be it.
Constantly being bounced around the round room between awe, over the
remarkable being your child is, amazement at the unique and beautiful
world within them, and disappointment over them not dominating each
of their strengths, while trampling under foot, all of their shortcomings.
I mean, why can’t they do, what I can’t? come on! It’s as if they
are so beautifully human,full of disappointments, awe and amazement.
Constantly being bounced around the round room between awe, over the
remarkable being your child is, amazement at the unique and beautiful
world within them, and disappointment over them not dominating each
of their strengths, while trampling under foot, all of their shortcomings.
I mean, why can’t they do, what I can’t? come on! It’s as if they
are so beautifully human,full of disappointments, awe and amazement.
4. Kids will make you feel like a hero.
In the book, Wonder, one of my favorite lines is, “I think there
should be a rule that everyone in the world should get a standing
ovation at least once in their lives”
should be a rule that everyone in the world should get a standing
ovation at least once in their lives”
I completely agree, but for myself, being the major introvert that
I am, I would take the change that starts from my child’s eyes and
spreads down to their toes, upon recognition of me. The glee that
covers them, over the connection and intimacy we share. I would take
the moment of having the ability to take my child’s shattered world
and making it feel better. Or always knowing where the favorite blankie
is, or bringing the forgotten assignment to school before that subject
starts, so you don’t die in front of the class. Kids make you feel
like a hero because there are countless times where you are the
center of their world and your feeble attempts are seen as a cape,
their love feels like a standing ovation.
I am, I would take the change that starts from my child’s eyes and
spreads down to their toes, upon recognition of me. The glee that
covers them, over the connection and intimacy we share. I would take
the moment of having the ability to take my child’s shattered world
and making it feel better. Or always knowing where the favorite blankie
is, or bringing the forgotten assignment to school before that subject
starts, so you don’t die in front of the class. Kids make you feel
like a hero because there are countless times where you are the
center of their world and your feeble attempts are seen as a cape,
their love feels like a standing ovation.
5. Kids will make you feel like the shittiest person on earth
Not just the oh, opps you made a mistake but the entire, you as a whole,
is the shittiest person on earth. You are trying your best, giving it
your all and then get informed that all your efforts are ruining their
lives. There is a difference between the shittiest person on earth to
a little one, who is so ready to accept, forgive and move on, when
you have majored mom failed but once those little darlings start
forming their own world. All frustrations become one gigantic spot
light on your shortcomings. You are the direct responsible party
for all internal and external issues with life.
At least if you are connected and a safe space for your child, they will
inform you about the huge disappointments in life and how, somehow
it always come back to being your fault, thus equating the shittiest
person on earth, status. I must add that this is their earth, not
necessarily, the “general” earth that the rest of us tend to live on.
is the shittiest person on earth. You are trying your best, giving it
your all and then get informed that all your efforts are ruining their
lives. There is a difference between the shittiest person on earth to
a little one, who is so ready to accept, forgive and move on, when
you have majored mom failed but once those little darlings start
forming their own world. All frustrations become one gigantic spot
light on your shortcomings. You are the direct responsible party
for all internal and external issues with life.
At least if you are connected and a safe space for your child, they will
inform you about the huge disappointments in life and how, somehow
it always come back to being your fault, thus equating the shittiest
person on earth, status. I must add that this is their earth, not
necessarily, the “general” earth that the rest of us tend to live on.
6. Kids will expand you, in directions that you
never knew exists.
We all know that becoming a mother expands our world of love beyond
anything we could have ever imagined, but I am continually learning
that this is really only the tip of the iceberg. My children
have and daily continue to expand my patience, grace, frustrations,
stress, laughter, depth, meaning, thoughts, perspectives, world,
creativity, motivation, desires, and dreams.
anything we could have ever imagined, but I am continually learning
that this is really only the tip of the iceberg. My children
have and daily continue to expand my patience, grace, frustrations,
stress, laughter, depth, meaning, thoughts, perspectives, world,
creativity, motivation, desires, and dreams.
With each new expansion I am invited and sometimes called into a better
version of myself. I am wooed to grow, a growth that is exclusively
between a mother and her expanding world.
A challenge to fill the britches.
version of myself. I am wooed to grow, a growth that is exclusively
between a mother and her expanding world.
A challenge to fill the britches.
7.Everything passes through time, faster than you wish
and sometimes not
The most applied and influential advice I remember about motherhood,
came from my grandma.
She would often make reference to just enjoy every minute because
life goes so fast and it only goes faster the older you get. Which
I immediately applied to the kids, their life is going to go faster
the older they get too. So the night shifts of endless nursing and
diaper changing tend to feel like eternity, the baby is new and time
is still slow. The more active the child the faster time speeds up
and away we go, time begins to fly. And only seem to be gaining speed
and momentum, then your child starts becoming into themselves and time
seems to slow down again.
came from my grandma.
She would often make reference to just enjoy every minute because
life goes so fast and it only goes faster the older you get. Which
I immediately applied to the kids, their life is going to go faster
the older they get too. So the night shifts of endless nursing and
diaper changing tend to feel like eternity, the baby is new and time
is still slow. The more active the child the faster time speeds up
and away we go, time begins to fly. And only seem to be gaining speed
and momentum, then your child starts becoming into themselves and time
seems to slow down again.
On one hand with my teens, I say daily, this too shall pass, praying it
passes without any permanent damage and complete loss of sanity. And in
the other hand, I play the song “slow down” by
Nichole Nordeman every morning to the girls, before school. Getting
teary eyed as we all sing together the chorus of “slow down, won’t you
stay here a minute more, I know you want to walk through the door,
but it’s all too fast, let’s make it last, just a little while,
I pointed to the sky and
now you want to fly, I am your biggest fan, I hope you know I am,
but do you think you can somehow slow down.”
passes without any permanent damage and complete loss of sanity. And in
the other hand, I play the song “slow down” by
Nichole Nordeman every morning to the girls, before school. Getting
teary eyed as we all sing together the chorus of “slow down, won’t you
stay here a minute more, I know you want to walk through the door,
but it’s all too fast, let’s make it last, just a little while,
I pointed to the sky and
now you want to fly, I am your biggest fan, I hope you know I am,
but do you think you can somehow slow down.”
8. You are just along for the ride
This is the journey of your life, this is the journey of each of your
children’s lives, Ultimately we are just along for a short ride in their
lives but they will forever alter the journey of our lives. It is a
journey unlike anything else, this earth has to offer. No where
else do you experience your heart living outside of your chest,
overwhelming pride for the tiniest accomplishments of another.
Nowhere else on this journey of life can such depths of love, fear,
hope, and joy be tasted but in the sweet, harrowing embrace of motherhood.
You are amazing and you are doing amazing!!! It is a crazy ride!
children’s lives, Ultimately we are just along for a short ride in their
lives but they will forever alter the journey of our lives. It is a
journey unlike anything else, this earth has to offer. No where
else do you experience your heart living outside of your chest,
overwhelming pride for the tiniest accomplishments of another.
Nowhere else on this journey of life can such depths of love, fear,
hope, and joy be tasted but in the sweet, harrowing embrace of motherhood.
You are amazing and you are doing amazing!!! It is a crazy ride!
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