Uninterrupted motion

"Walking is treading upon the Earth. Thus I remember my humanity, my place on the Earth, my belonging. I imagine the curve of the Earth and the small part of the curve I traverse."

A couple weeks ago I entered a gym for the first time in my life. I had been told that they have a kids room and I should check it out as a possible place to get my body in motion while having Tela occupied. Upon entering I was greeted by what I had assumed most gyms to appear like. Machines, weights, wall to wall mirrors, bikes and treadmills that face a parking lot and lead you nowhere. I checked out the kids room and quickly realized that it would contain Tela for a max of 5 min and my desire to have an uninterrupted workout was not going to happen within these walls. I also realized that walking, running, or cycling to nowhere was going to hold my attention for about 5 min too. So I thanked the super helpful staff and other gym members, who seemed only too eager to get me enthused about signing up at the gym and walked out the door to the boring parking lot that I knew I would never gaze upon as I walked to nowhere. Silently agreeing with the thoughts in my mind that I would unlikely enter those doors again.
Still determined to get my body into uninterrupted motion I figured that I would have to do it in the wee morning hours, before the kids are up and very much against the inner wiring of my being. And so I asked Ian to wake me before he heads for work and I would start walking/running around our neighborhood.
On the first morning I took Hawthorne with me and was appalled, although not shocked, to see that our fat, lazy, and glorious dog is in so much better shape than myself. He is a true testimony to my lack of getting out and exercising. He would stop at every new yard to mark his territory and after the first 7 houses/stops I got so frustrated that I threw his leash over his wide back and let him go at his own pace, which he had been dragging me along. He proceeded to enter the very middle of the road and claimed his position despite the random cars approaching cautiously. As they slowed to avoid him he would start coming up to their car with his tail wagging profusely, as if he were the meet and greet on their way to work. Realizing that his lack of etiquette on the roads was not going to work I grabbed his leash and pulled him back to the side of the road, resigning that car courtesy was more important than a steady pace.
We got into a decent rhythm as long as I was running (which does not last very long). Starting to feel good, breathing, gazing as the morning light is stretching it's arms, appreciating this opportunity. We pass the only house that has not one but two signs posted that their yard is not a dog park and no dogs allowed. Suddenly I am jolted to a stop as Hawthorne comes to a dead stop and not five feet from the sign proceeds to take the biggest dump that I have seen in a while. Of course he would feel the need overtake him there, since he can read the signs and everything. Grateful that no lights are on in the house I stand looking at the giant, squatting, yellow beast and realize that uninterrupted motion is not happening today but rather a short sprint from the scene of the crime is going to be the jump start to my blood flow. He finally finishes and we take off away from the bomb as tho we have been keeping this ungodly pace all along.
Taking off and keeping the pace for a bit I realize a new found testimony to my lack of exercise. My pants are fine as long as I am walking but send me into a run and I quickly realize that they are rapidly running down my hips towards my feet.
Picturing the neighborhood watch posting a sign on each of the mailboxes, "Would the young lady please not let her dog poop on the one house that is terribly anti dogs and would she please keep her pants up. Thank you"
So with one hand holding Hawthorne's leash and the other hand holding up my pants we continue my quest to get my body into uninterrupted motion or at this point my quest to get home with dignity of any kind. Too bad the rapid beating of your heart due to embarrassment does not burn calories or build muscle. I would be fit.
Well I have gone for a run/walk every other morning and have taken Hawthorne once more (he does need the exercise). I have appreciated the joy of treading upon the earth, watching the morning light, breathing the quiet air. There are a couple other girls that I have seen in the morning. They have fitting, black clothes and a well trained dog that stays at their feet without magically always being right under their next step. They have these awesome looking straps on their arms that hold their phone or something and these earbuds that don't fall out when they run. I always smile and say a breathless good morning as I pant past at a turtles pace, my phone in my hand playing it's music for anyone in a 10 foot radius, my bright blue sweats that have a drawstring waist so they do not fall down and a hole in the crotch, sporting my Led Zeppelin shirt as my fat yellow beast is all over the place yet always under my feet, slobbering his greetings to everyone. And yet each morning that I finally make it back to our house and gaze up the stairs that I still have to walk up, I just know that there can't be more than a handful of happier, grateful walkers/runners this glorious morning. Treading this Earth, remembering my humanity, my place on Earth, my belonging and the glorious privilege to traverse this small part of the Earth's curve.

Comments

Unknown said…
Sis, what an incredible writer you are! Minutes later and I'm still cracking up. The gym as seen through your eyes, the sagging pants, and your yellow dog,....love it all. Thanks for sharing.