For no particular reason, I have slowly been kidnapped by a somber, nostalgic heart. Not in the least negative or dark but heavy hearted in the lightest manner. A busy weather change within me that is building momentum and longing for my being to sit still, be still, rest in the storm of thoughts and feelings. My inner winds howling at me to take the time and use that inner energy to create. Permitting myself to release some of the inner-currents to the shores of my existence, and so here I find myself drawn back to the keyboard, drawn back to releasing my rambling thoughts into black and white. And so I will write.
With numerous topics, thoughts, feelings, and new adventures to write about I feel that this writing is not for my mind to perform but for my inner energy to take the lead. So which ever way the winds will blow, I hope that my somber, nostalgic heart can dance itself upon the shores.
Ian made a comment the other day that has been running through my mind. He said, "If you could go back and tell the 18 year old Rachel what she is doing today, she wouldn't believe it and just laugh out loud."
There was so much to that comment that has had myself reflecting back and looking forward. Yes, I would have laughed. I would never have believed it and I would wonder about the journey that got me from that 18 year old to where I am today.
What a journey, I can see now how so many aspects of just walking through life were getting me ready for today. How the little steps I took, whether by determined choice or by the currents of life, all brought me to today, giving me the ability to stand, with a smile on my face, a heart full of gratitude, a tired body, and a life full of love. Life really is a beautiful journey, what a privilege to live it!
Tela will repeatedly come up to me in a day and ask, "Are you happy mama?"
What a crazy, loving soul. She loves to be happy, she is predisposition to be a happy being and she can not help herself but ooze being happy on those around her. She is so consumed with just being happy that she has to check on those that she loves, to make sure that they are happy too. What a great way to wrap up our little family. Of course she balances out her happiness with a love that hurts. Her love is so intense that she proclaims her love by hitting those she loves. Thus her love hurts.
As the days are busy and full she has that remarkable way of stopping me in my tracks, with her simple question, "Are you happy mama?" It makes me calm my mind and take in the moment, be in the moment and see all that I have to be happy about. All that surrounds me to make me a happy mama.
Mind you if I say that I am not happy, Tela will get up in my face and say, "Do you want to build a snowman?" Once again reminding me that happiness is truly found in the being together parts of life, even if the question is, "Do you want to build a snowman?" in 90 degree weather.
Today is our 8 year anniversary and I can't help but think of Ian singing Jack Johnson's song, Better Together, at our wedding. And 8 years later the words ring truer today than they did back then. Love has got to be one of the most amazing aspects of being alive. It can grow and deepen and change you into beauty, like nothing else. Over the last 8 years my love for Ian has taken on a life all it's own. It started as a feeling, a commitment, a hope and now I see how today it completes me, defines me, finds me, creates me, secures me, frees me, deepens me, and fills me with more love for him and all those in my life. It started as little uncertain baby steps and now it is one of the most strongest currents in the momentum of my life, my being. Happy anniversary hun, thank you for all the ways that you make it better together. :)
Well Tela has reduced her need for me from every 5 min to about every 30 seconds so I am going to lay the pen down temporarily and hope to pick it up later as I feel that I have only begun to write.
With numerous topics, thoughts, feelings, and new adventures to write about I feel that this writing is not for my mind to perform but for my inner energy to take the lead. So which ever way the winds will blow, I hope that my somber, nostalgic heart can dance itself upon the shores.
Ian made a comment the other day that has been running through my mind. He said, "If you could go back and tell the 18 year old Rachel what she is doing today, she wouldn't believe it and just laugh out loud."
There was so much to that comment that has had myself reflecting back and looking forward. Yes, I would have laughed. I would never have believed it and I would wonder about the journey that got me from that 18 year old to where I am today.
What a journey, I can see now how so many aspects of just walking through life were getting me ready for today. How the little steps I took, whether by determined choice or by the currents of life, all brought me to today, giving me the ability to stand, with a smile on my face, a heart full of gratitude, a tired body, and a life full of love. Life really is a beautiful journey, what a privilege to live it!
Tela will repeatedly come up to me in a day and ask, "Are you happy mama?"
What a crazy, loving soul. She loves to be happy, she is predisposition to be a happy being and she can not help herself but ooze being happy on those around her. She is so consumed with just being happy that she has to check on those that she loves, to make sure that they are happy too. What a great way to wrap up our little family. Of course she balances out her happiness with a love that hurts. Her love is so intense that she proclaims her love by hitting those she loves. Thus her love hurts.
As the days are busy and full she has that remarkable way of stopping me in my tracks, with her simple question, "Are you happy mama?" It makes me calm my mind and take in the moment, be in the moment and see all that I have to be happy about. All that surrounds me to make me a happy mama.
Mind you if I say that I am not happy, Tela will get up in my face and say, "Do you want to build a snowman?" Once again reminding me that happiness is truly found in the being together parts of life, even if the question is, "Do you want to build a snowman?" in 90 degree weather.
Today is our 8 year anniversary and I can't help but think of Ian singing Jack Johnson's song, Better Together, at our wedding. And 8 years later the words ring truer today than they did back then. Love has got to be one of the most amazing aspects of being alive. It can grow and deepen and change you into beauty, like nothing else. Over the last 8 years my love for Ian has taken on a life all it's own. It started as a feeling, a commitment, a hope and now I see how today it completes me, defines me, finds me, creates me, secures me, frees me, deepens me, and fills me with more love for him and all those in my life. It started as little uncertain baby steps and now it is one of the most strongest currents in the momentum of my life, my being. Happy anniversary hun, thank you for all the ways that you make it better together. :)
Well Tela has reduced her need for me from every 5 min to about every 30 seconds so I am going to lay the pen down temporarily and hope to pick it up later as I feel that I have only begun to write.
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