OCD and a dream home

I have told Ian, quite a few times, that I wish our house look liked someone with ocd lived here but unfortunately no one with ocd lives here and the state of our home shows all the evidence.
I started feeling as if our home was filthy. Discouragement and disgruntlement settling into my being. Frustration that our home screamed the marks of 6 permanent dwellers, not to mention a dog, a cat. and countless visitors on a weekly basis.
Then I went down to LA to surprise Ian for a night (smile) and upon arriving home I opened our front door and a wave of relief and gratitude flooded over me. Our home is not filthy, it is lived in (very much lived in) but it is clean and homey. It springs life throughout every room, behind every door, evident on every wall and scribbled on every spare space. It is full of life, laughter, and love. It is full of energy, creativity, and chaos. It is full and I would have it no other way.
My heart received a further boost of smiles after Sam started playing a game, our local grocery store is doing. You play by collecting game pieces after purchasing certain items and matching the game pieces on a prize board. If you collect all the game pieces on a certain prize, you win it. Sam is all over it and repeatedly asking me if I need to go shopping.  The array of lavish prizes has gotten all the kids star gazing and dreaming of the wonderful items that could come their way. It has been a lot of fun hearing and sharing with them what we would do with 1 million dollars, or an ipad, or a quad, or a backyard makeover. One of the prizes is a dream home and I have heard very little talk amongst them of what their dream home would look like but all three of the older kids have come to me separately and said that they would not want to move and maybe they could just make our current home nicer, like add a second floor or a kids play room.
Melt my heart, while placing my discouragement and disgruntlement 6 feet under, their current home is their dream home. :) For a mama it just doesn't get better than that.
I do hope they win something, even if it is a 25 dollar shopping spree at the grocery store. But even if they don't, how grateful am I that this silly little game has them star gazing and dreaming.
I could easily spend countless hours listening to peoples' dreams. I don't ever want them to stop dreaming. I don't every want them to grow old in a way that leaves them hopeless over tomorrows. I want them to forever dream, let their minds and hearts sour with hope of what the morrow might hold. I want their dreams to come true and more importantly I want them to know that they can make their dreams come true.
Except maybe Emma, she had an assignment today to write what her three wishes would be if she came across a fish who granted wishes. Her first wish was for a million dollars, her second wish was for a singing unicorn who could grant her all the wishes she wanted, and then she was stumped for her third wish cause she just got a singing unicorn who could grant her all the wishes she could want. She finally settled for a big, rainbow car.
My sweet Emma lives and hopefully will forever live between this world and the world of the fairies. She walks through life overly aware of her surroundings but forever intertwined with magic. She dressed up today as the winter fairy. Mind you she has two, overly stuffed suitcases, of dress-ups. Princesses, super heroes, and everything else that this world provides in ways of dress-up for little girls but somehow and to no surprise she put together the most perfect winter fairy outfit.
Upon seeing her float through the house I asked her what she was and what her powers were. She looked at me quizzically and responded as if I were dumb, "mom, I am a winter fairy and I am here to make sure the earth is getting enough rest because Spring is coming and everyone knows that Spring is a very busy time"
I had to stop and hug her. She spoke to a much deeper level than I was prepared to hear and oh how I so heartily agreed. It was a lesson that I, myself was trying to learn and to hear her play dress-up in the role of seasons, had me once again sitting back and realizing that my children have so much to teach me. What a honor it is to be their student.
Which brings me to this quote that came upon me and I have since been feasting upon the banquet behind it's simple words.




I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. 

What a beautiful thing it is to be where you need to be. Even if it is in a home that is not occupied with someone who has ocd, even if the marks of life shine up as dirty handprints on the walls. We shall always have our dreams and a grateful heart for our current dream home.

Comments

Orange said…
Your children are going to be blessed with the most wonderful memories of their childhoods. You can be very proud of what you have created...lots of love.
Danya said…
awe love you! There is always beautiful in the mess and as someone with OCD cleanliness..its totally overrated! You are the best momma and are truly living what truly matters in life! So much love ,joy and life fills your home. Miss you all lots!
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