A great suspicion has been confirmed.
College has always seemed to elude me, as well as finding a career that sent me a pay check, which I could actually cash at a bank and so I have spent many years wondering what my career would be. What could I have gone to college for and have helped me find and fulfill my inner passions, my inner destination in the work field.
Well while spending the weekend with some siblings the topic came up of careers and we enjoyed immensely talking about what the "ideal" career is for each of our siblings. The career that best suit their personality, that followed their passions and fulfilled their inner destinations in the work fields.
Then it came to me, I asked, eager to hear their reply, what they thought my career in life should be. Everyone's first response, including mine, was one of laughter and then I heard, teacher, psychologist, maybe someone who writes the curriculum for kids' programs, maybe a psychologist to kids, maybe someone who only sees the bad kids who are acting up and just need to sit down with someone and talk and feel better about themselves and their life, maybe ....... more laughter.
And thus a long time suspicion had been confirmed, I was created outside the realm of college and careers (that provide paychecks). It was such a relief to hear those that have known me the longest to also struggle with placing me in societies' boxes.
I have gone through all of the emotions of never feeling like the more common grooves of education and careers seemed to fit my inner groove. Yet as I have aged, contentment and appreciation of being me, have far outweighed the uneasiness of not fitting into society.
I came home from a wonderful weekend and was sharing with Ian our conversations and filling him in on the fact that a great suspicion had been confirmed. What he said in response had my heart beating with love for him and has continued to ring through my mind and heart. He looked at me and smiled, stating simply, "It is going to be alright" Not that it is alright in that moment but, it is going to be alright.
The future holds no uncertainties despite my lack of fitting into the educational and career molds that society has laid down so beautifully. It is going to be alright! It is going to be alright that I have no degree and no career. It is beyond words knowing that I am walking through life with someone who knows that it is going to be alright despite the fact I am made to live outside of societies career boxes. That he knows this about me and has given me this amazing opportunity to live my inner passions, my inner destination in this life. That it is alright and is going to be alright cause we have each other and there is so much to smile about, laugh about, and dance about (even if it is subtly in my head)
I would still love to become a sponsored family of 6, who backpack across the world and have the ups and downs documented. The highlights and lowlights, which youth hostels are family friendly and which paths are just too much for kids to walk upon. Ian who has, thankfully, found an amazing career in this world, just looks at me like I am nuts and smiles.
Life really is funny and oh so amazing.
My sweet, beautiful girls. Their eyes that have me falling and their secretive whispers to each other, that have me forever on my toes.
College has always seemed to elude me, as well as finding a career that sent me a pay check, which I could actually cash at a bank and so I have spent many years wondering what my career would be. What could I have gone to college for and have helped me find and fulfill my inner passions, my inner destination in the work field.
Well while spending the weekend with some siblings the topic came up of careers and we enjoyed immensely talking about what the "ideal" career is for each of our siblings. The career that best suit their personality, that followed their passions and fulfilled their inner destinations in the work fields.
Then it came to me, I asked, eager to hear their reply, what they thought my career in life should be. Everyone's first response, including mine, was one of laughter and then I heard, teacher, psychologist, maybe someone who writes the curriculum for kids' programs, maybe a psychologist to kids, maybe someone who only sees the bad kids who are acting up and just need to sit down with someone and talk and feel better about themselves and their life, maybe ....... more laughter.
And thus a long time suspicion had been confirmed, I was created outside the realm of college and careers (that provide paychecks). It was such a relief to hear those that have known me the longest to also struggle with placing me in societies' boxes.
I have gone through all of the emotions of never feeling like the more common grooves of education and careers seemed to fit my inner groove. Yet as I have aged, contentment and appreciation of being me, have far outweighed the uneasiness of not fitting into society.
I came home from a wonderful weekend and was sharing with Ian our conversations and filling him in on the fact that a great suspicion had been confirmed. What he said in response had my heart beating with love for him and has continued to ring through my mind and heart. He looked at me and smiled, stating simply, "It is going to be alright" Not that it is alright in that moment but, it is going to be alright.
The future holds no uncertainties despite my lack of fitting into the educational and career molds that society has laid down so beautifully. It is going to be alright! It is going to be alright that I have no degree and no career. It is beyond words knowing that I am walking through life with someone who knows that it is going to be alright despite the fact I am made to live outside of societies career boxes. That he knows this about me and has given me this amazing opportunity to live my inner passions, my inner destination in this life. That it is alright and is going to be alright cause we have each other and there is so much to smile about, laugh about, and dance about (even if it is subtly in my head)
I would still love to become a sponsored family of 6, who backpack across the world and have the ups and downs documented. The highlights and lowlights, which youth hostels are family friendly and which paths are just too much for kids to walk upon. Ian who has, thankfully, found an amazing career in this world, just looks at me like I am nuts and smiles.
Life really is funny and oh so amazing.
Sam's baseball season has started and so I have been carrying my camera around to take pictures of him but thus far have only taken pictures of the girls.... more to come.
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