I am currently under a spirituality scrutiny. God is and will always be alive to me, He is not only a huge aspect of my life but the foundation that I long to live my life on. Yet I am seeing in my own life that spirituality is less of what the world says it is and more of what takes on in the quietness of my mind/days/nature/art/things of beauty that stir my soul. As of late my days have been anything but quiet and thus I have been feeling a bit down and spiritually hungry for something to feed my soul. Nourish me. I want to be in nature. I want to go backpacking and spend a couple days abandoning my whole being to the dirt and the sky. I want to go to a concert so that my mind is filled with music that carries me to another spiritual realm of calm and energy. I want to hear waves and see rivers, sand and wildflowers. Life is so temporary and the demands of this life keep us so busy and bound to tending the small patch of land that is our responsibility. Smiles galore and appreciation overwhelming but oh how my soul needs to be fed. So with Ian and three of the kids at church I thought this would be a perfect time to spend some time on my spiritually hungry state of being. Writing, pictures, quiet and music, my sunday morning church.
We have had some great snow days this year and Hawthorne turns back into a pup every time there is fresh powder outside. Hawthorne remains to be the one and only thing that can turn Tela's frown to a smile or stop a tear from falling. Despite how many times I yell at him in a day. He is the best dog that ever was and will ever be and he belongs to Tela.
Emma turned 6 and daily continues to capture me with the endless source of magic within her. The other day she looks at me with bubbling up excitement and exclaims, "There is just something new about me today!!!!"
"Really?!" I said, "What is new about you today?"
" I don't know. THERE IS JUST SOMETHING NEW ABOUT ME TODAY AND I AM SO EXCITED!!!!"
And the most beautiful thing about her is that she really was so excited and full of anticipation for her day with there being something new about her today. She is thrilled that Spring is almost here because then we get to go on fairy hunts and we get to take Tela cause she has never been and "this is one of the bestest thing of being alive"
Someone had left the door open and Ian yelled out, "Who left the door open? Who was born in a barn?" Emma quickly responded with nothing but pride over her knowledge of the answer to this question, "Jesus!! Jesus was born in a barn!"
She is quickly learning how to read and write and, as we have always known, is so smart and absorbs everything that is being taught her.
Four beautiful souls that leave me breathless, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I am amazed with who each one of them is and so grateful to have them in my life. They love each other so much and as I continually remind them "you will be siblings for life so you better like each other and be nice to each other!"
I have concluded that they will each take from their childhood what they choose. They will take what memories they focus on and will be who they were created to be long before I got to kiss their faces. So if I feed them dinner each night or not they will remember what they want. :) All that is truly asked of me is to love them and to gaze in amazement and wonder on the beautiful, unique souls that they individually are. Encourage them and keep their mind and bodies up to par until I can hand that responsibility over to them. Oh but how I will always love them
Leah is daily becoming more lady and less child. She is blossoming in Jr High and loves her ability to have more independence with her academics and her day. She has a great sense of humor and often shares with me the moments in her day that she found funny, rarely any moments that were not. She has fallen head over heals in love with music and if given free reign would have her songs playing continually. She has gotten great with her bow and arrows and is often seen climbing up the back hill on her own solitude adventures. She is withdrawing a bit as she is exploring the beautiful aspects of who she is and she is exploding a bit as she is discovering the horrifying aspects of hormones. Yet she never ceases to amaze me with the creative complexity of her fiercely colorful soul. My love for her covers the skies.
Well my time is just about up considering I have gotten up and down off this chair more times than a gopher and his hole but this has been nice to sit and write. Verbally place in black and white my appreciation for my children, for my life. To feed my soul and take some time for myself.
To me spirituality is anything that brings me to a place of awareness and appreciation for God's goodness in my life. The profoundness of spirituality looses itself on me and it is in the simpleness of my life that I find it. Butterfly knot of love
This year is going by so fast and I really miss pouring out my thoughts into a written format but with four kids and the youngest one being all sorts of crazy I never seem to have much of a chance to do much of anything for myself. I know that I am supposed to make sure that i take time to do things for myself but the demands far exceed the hours in a day as is.
So here is me taking what time I can .....
What can I say, Ian remains to continually be my best friend. My love, appreciation, and admiration grows for him with every sunset and every sunrise. He is a good man and I am so glad that his craziness somehow balances out all my craziness. He by far keeps me grounded like nothing else.
Baseball season has started with the first game having occurred yesterday (they won). Along with the disbelief that baseball has begun already is my disbelief over the growth of this boy. His good heart remains the same but his mind and body seem to have grown in the blink of an eye. He likes filling me in on the details of his life betweens the cracks of our busy schedule. He really does absorb everything in that is going on around him while appearing to be up to no good. And speaking of being up to no good, yeah he is still Sam and was grounded for a month for shooting the b-b-gun at our sliding glass door and breaking the glass on one side of it completely out. But on the other side of his heart. He gets Tela cereal every morning (so cute.)
We have had some great snow days this year and Hawthorne turns back into a pup every time there is fresh powder outside. Hawthorne remains to be the one and only thing that can turn Tela's frown to a smile or stop a tear from falling. Despite how many times I yell at him in a day. He is the best dog that ever was and will ever be and he belongs to Tela.
Emma turned 6 and daily continues to capture me with the endless source of magic within her. The other day she looks at me with bubbling up excitement and exclaims, "There is just something new about me today!!!!"
"Really?!" I said, "What is new about you today?"
" I don't know. THERE IS JUST SOMETHING NEW ABOUT ME TODAY AND I AM SO EXCITED!!!!"
And the most beautiful thing about her is that she really was so excited and full of anticipation for her day with there being something new about her today. She is thrilled that Spring is almost here because then we get to go on fairy hunts and we get to take Tela cause she has never been and "this is one of the bestest thing of being alive"
Someone had left the door open and Ian yelled out, "Who left the door open? Who was born in a barn?" Emma quickly responded with nothing but pride over her knowledge of the answer to this question, "Jesus!! Jesus was born in a barn!"
She is quickly learning how to read and write and, as we have always known, is so smart and absorbs everything that is being taught her.
Four beautiful souls that leave me breathless, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I am amazed with who each one of them is and so grateful to have them in my life. They love each other so much and as I continually remind them "you will be siblings for life so you better like each other and be nice to each other!"
I have concluded that they will each take from their childhood what they choose. They will take what memories they focus on and will be who they were created to be long before I got to kiss their faces. So if I feed them dinner each night or not they will remember what they want. :) All that is truly asked of me is to love them and to gaze in amazement and wonder on the beautiful, unique souls that they individually are. Encourage them and keep their mind and bodies up to par until I can hand that responsibility over to them. Oh but how I will always love them
Leah is daily becoming more lady and less child. She is blossoming in Jr High and loves her ability to have more independence with her academics and her day. She has a great sense of humor and often shares with me the moments in her day that she found funny, rarely any moments that were not. She has fallen head over heals in love with music and if given free reign would have her songs playing continually. She has gotten great with her bow and arrows and is often seen climbing up the back hill on her own solitude adventures. She is withdrawing a bit as she is exploring the beautiful aspects of who she is and she is exploding a bit as she is discovering the horrifying aspects of hormones. Yet she never ceases to amaze me with the creative complexity of her fiercely colorful soul. My love for her covers the skies.
Oh and not to forget the last but far from least. I have to say that I was warned before i had her that the fourth child is always a handful but nothing prepared me for this little character. She has the heart of all her siblings and knows it and then proceeds to assume that she has the heart of the world. She is fearless and assumes that everyone is going to continually be there to save her. I picked this picture of her cause this is her, she is going to just take off walking with her little arms swinging, not a care in the world. Doesn't look back or forward just enjoying the steps to wherever they take her. She is my independent, extravert, easy going but oh so opinionated. Life is a joke and to be enjoyed so you better keep up cause she is going to walk off the side of the cliff while smiling and waving bye bye to you. The other day after dinner I told her that it was splish splash time (bath time) well she marched right past her bath and went to our shower and pointed. She has taken showers with Ian but never by herself. Well I turned the water on and she started taking her clothes off so I help strip her down and in she went. She stands under the water and proceeds to wash herself. So there is my 18 month daughter taking a shower by herself but she will be damned if she uses a single word to communicate what she wants.
Well my time is just about up considering I have gotten up and down off this chair more times than a gopher and his hole but this has been nice to sit and write. Verbally place in black and white my appreciation for my children, for my life. To feed my soul and take some time for myself.
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love you and miss you!