I have dipped my toes into the waters of insanity. I have permitted the unstable thoughts of crazy wash over my mind, leaving their residue of inner turmoil. I have ventured to the darkest corners of this dark cave that has had me enclosed for what seems like the year of a cold, heartless winter. I have gone where I never thought I could.
And now, as I listen to the life of the birds, the life of the sunshine and wind, the life of my children, the life of my smile, I am receiving the taste of new blossoms of happy. Daily reminding myself that, I am only to be living and alive in this moment. In this moment I get to enjoy myself.
Craziness, fears, turmoil, stress, worry, insecurities, and the deep pool of insanity, dark caves and inner turmoil can be a part of my past and they might be a part of the future but if I choose to live in this moment then and only then do I find myself so blessed and happy in that very second. I have been and continue to lose myself in the very moment that I am in. Something I have not done in so long. It has been the lost vision of my soul that has led me into the dark cave.
Almost two weeks now. two weeks of appreciating the feeling of the sheets on my toes when I wake up. The sound of sunshine on my windows, bees in the garden.. the feel of my children's smiles and the taste of their laughter.. In the moments that i have been missing and now am feeling in a fuller manner than I ever thought possible.
Sunday I got to expand on the growth of my child heart and we went to fly a kite and swing on a swing, Oh how I have missed my inner child laughing. The delight of the simple. I am ready to dive into the pool of life, fullness of life. The kind that happens only in the moments.
As Emma said the other day in all excitement, "My heart was beating faster than I eat corn." Now that is FAST!!! Oh the colorful anticipation of my heart beating faster than she eats corn, each and every day. Can't help but smile and bubble with gratitude for this life that I have the privilege to live.
And now, as I listen to the life of the birds, the life of the sunshine and wind, the life of my children, the life of my smile, I am receiving the taste of new blossoms of happy. Daily reminding myself that, I am only to be living and alive in this moment. In this moment I get to enjoy myself.
Craziness, fears, turmoil, stress, worry, insecurities, and the deep pool of insanity, dark caves and inner turmoil can be a part of my past and they might be a part of the future but if I choose to live in this moment then and only then do I find myself so blessed and happy in that very second. I have been and continue to lose myself in the very moment that I am in. Something I have not done in so long. It has been the lost vision of my soul that has led me into the dark cave.
Almost two weeks now. two weeks of appreciating the feeling of the sheets on my toes when I wake up. The sound of sunshine on my windows, bees in the garden.. the feel of my children's smiles and the taste of their laughter.. In the moments that i have been missing and now am feeling in a fuller manner than I ever thought possible.
As Emma said the other day in all excitement, "My heart was beating faster than I eat corn." Now that is FAST!!! Oh the colorful anticipation of my heart beating faster than she eats corn, each and every day. Can't help but smile and bubble with gratitude for this life that I have the privilege to live.
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