Having children is like.....

Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

No, that is not my quote but I read it this morning and thought how appropriate it seemed after yesterday. Oh yesterday, I am so glad that days like you come less frequently and I mentally cling to the thought that this bowling game must have an end.

Yesterday started the night before when we went to a potluck and got home hours after the kids bedtime, which as usual did not leave them to sleep in but they all got up at their usual times, leaving me with tired, grumpy children. All Day.

Lets see.... my kids tired in a nut shell. Leah - emotional, irritable, loud, and above all wants to be left ALONE. Sam - attention span of less than 30 seconds, ping pong ball of annoyance between his two sisters, worst listener of his mother in the world, defiant and a trouble maker. Emma- shrieker, screamer, crier, irritable, and moody.

Yeah so that was the foundation of my day yesterday and between trying to get some house cleaning done, laundry, and keeping the kids from ensuing major damage to each other. I felt like an early bed time was not early enough.

Moments before I called Ian's mom back to let her know that I think taking the kids to see Toy Story 3 was a great ideal. Sam had thrown a wooden rolling pin, for play-doe, which had hit Leah on the forehead. So she is on the couch with an ice pack on her forehead saying she can't think straight. Sam won't stay in his room for damaging his sister and is screaming/crying cause he just wants to say he is sorry to Leah. Emma has a spiky and a cactus in her foot and it hurts so much and wants to be held. And Leah thinks she can't think straight?!?!

It was one of those mother moments when you feel yourself removed from yourself and your entire being is in complete denial that three little beings whom you love with your entire self are falling apart around you, while they are all yelling at you, as if you have the magic wand to remove any and all tiredness, frustration, hurt, and defiance. So standing in the midst of their screams I grabbed the imaginary microphone (it magnifies my voice over theirs) and exclaimed, "Grandma just called and wants to go see Toy Story 3 today." Within moments Sam had taken a deep breath and with calm, controlled words said sorry to Leah. Leah sat up from her death bed and suddenly seemed to be able to think very clearly. Emma's pokey and cactus had disappeared from her foot and ran to find her shoes. And me well I just plopped down on the couch exhausted and said they all had to get along for the next hour if they really wanted to go.

Surprisingly they got along great and into the car we get. Emma still had some of her lunch of a corndog in her mouth and as I am backing down our driveway, looking behind me I glance at Emma's face to see that she is not breathing and has that desperate look in her eyes that she desperately wants to take a breath of air. Quickly get to the bottom of the drive get her out of her carseat, roughly place her stomach over my arm and watch as more hotdog than should of came out of her airway. She was ok but my heart is still going a million miles a min. Emma starts crying cause her dress is dirty with throw up. Reassure her that it is ok we will go up to the house and change her only to get back into the car to find Sam crying hysterically. Sam what is wrong with you? "That was scary, I didn't like it at all" OK DEEP BREATH!!!!

We finally get to the movies where I feel so wiped out I could have fallen asleep. the kids all did great and behaved, outside of Sam having brought his lego flashlight. Then home we went for a long afternoon with tired children. They did go to bed early but like I stated above it just was not early enough. Which leads me to this next quote I read this morning,
If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.

I have personally found this quote to work like a charm.

Ok now for something hysterical. You know that phrase, That's what she said, well Sam kinda took on his own phrase and it has me in stitches cause he kinda uses it in the same incidents. I don't know where it came from other than he is a 7 year old boy but he is responding to everything with, in your underwear. "You have nothing, You have nothing in your underwear" "You are mad? You are mad in your underwear" I am curious to see how long this one goes on for and how many times when he says it that it really catches. So far that crazy kid is on a roll and admits all the chaos still has me laughing.