Can I dance just a little?

Well today in over a week I found myself give a genuine laugh and then this evening Leah came up to me and asked, "Can I dance just a little?" Grief has a way of sucking the life out of you and yet a nine year old asking a simple question can slap you in the face with the realization that sometimes you need to dance just a little. I am far from not feeling the pain and sadness yet I feel that I am a step closer to dancing like Safta always wanted me too.

We are back to the routine of school, dog park and laundry. Sam's birthday is this month so yesterday when we changed the calendar to December it suddenly became his birthday. So this morning on the way to school I asked him what kind of birthday party he would like.

"I don't know"

"Well last year you had a pirate party, how about a green eggs and ham party?"

"No, I don't want a green eggs and ham party"

"Well all you like to do is throw your stuffed animals into the tree and on the roof, how about a stuffed animal throwing party?"

"No I want a party like Austin"

"Ok what kind of party did Austin have?"

"I don't know his birthday is tomorrow"

So yeah as the planner of his birthday party I'm kinda feeling at a lost but it is Sam so whatever happens will happen.