Newkirk Classifieds

Sales
All the junk in my garage - please verify with owner that it is indeed junk prior to taking.

Help Wanted
Seeking personal assistant for two year old.
2-3 hours daily
requirements: experience to put in and take out hair pieces from my little ponies mane and tails... repeatedly
Pay depends on experience

Bank Manager
Must be able to explain to a 6 year old that when you open a savings account you can not walk around the grocery store 30 min later crying for your money and that you want it back.

A Listening Ear
Seeking qualified individual to listen to an 8 year old girl explain in detail about the show you are both watching. Listen while I am in the midst of chaos to her dire need to inform you what Savannah told Lizzy about what her old best friend just said .... This position is temporary and without a set schedule but patience is a must.


Phone Operator
Must ensure that my husband calls me when he gets off of work and maybe one other time during the day just to say hi.


Lost
Seeking the part of my brain that remembers things - grayish, late twenties.


Found
Massive amount of dirt particles and dog hair throughout my house. Please come and claim.

Dogs
HUGE lab/golden
Will lick you and everyone who comes to your house like you are covered in doggy treats.
loves to try to sit on your guests lap, goes for a hike daily (with or without you) and will kindly go through your trash if you ever leave him home alone.

Free

My children every Friday night. Must pick up.

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE

Comments

Anonymous said…
lol...Rachel you are hilarious
please send all of the above my way as well
I need a police man to split up fights between my kids lately