feeling blessed

I do not know if it is like this for everyone when they buy their first home but I am feeling overwhelmingly grateful and blessed. We had our final walk through yesterday and I fell in love with the house once again and then we went appliance shopping where we got a fantastic fridge, washer and dryer. I can not wait to use them... anyway back to my feelings (since this blog is my chance to vent.) I suppose that everyone's past influences their reaction to their present and so due to events of my past 28 years I can not believe that this is my life. Who would have ever thought that me, in all my awkwardness, struggles and bad choices would be looking at living in my very own home, that I am completely in love with, with a husband, that despite drives me crazy sometimes is my very best friend and works so hard to make this possible in my life, along with our three mainly healthy children, who along with contributing to my insanity also contribute to my joy, laughter and purpose here on earth. I suppose that everything leading up to this point ( I felt the same on my wedding day) leads me to feeling so unworthy of all these blessings that are coming my way. It is not as though I am starting fresh, that my life has been bad in any sense, it actually has been wonderful and with each passing event seems to only be getting better... (Ian's job, Emma's birth, my psycho ex leaving the country , the kids development, growth and outbursts of their personalities) and now looking at getting our very own house to make our very own home, is just overwhelming me with gratitude to God for blessing me with so much. It is awesome and I can not wait to have everyone over to partake in our blessing, and I am so looking forward to all the memories that we are going to create within those walls and all the growing that is going to take place within our very own home. It is hard for me to believe that so many blessings are my life and I get the privilege to live it, absorb it, and appreciate it. Yeah