So it has been snowing here for the last two days and the kids have not had school which brings me to my title, " Is sanity really that important?" I would like to believe that sanity is a choice of mind but I also believe that it helps to be sane to make that conscious choice. I love my children but for some reason I feel that my mind seems to be traveling farther and farther away to a place that I fear where insanity reigns. My hope is that before I lose my mind to old age I will have regained my mental stability. I know that my feelings are not unjustified since from the moment I awake till about 30 minuets before I go to sleep I am completely consumed by three children that look to me for, not only their physical needs but their emotional and mental needs and through it all I have going through my mind that it is during these years that I am helping to shape who they are as adults. All I have to say is thank God for grace and foggy memories. My children not only contribute to my insanity but to my ability to laugh as well. While it was hailing yesterday Leah stated very excitedly that it was hazeling on her and this morning she said there had to be at least 2 miles or 2 inches of snow on the ground and if it keeps snowing than it might be as much as 3 miles or 3 inches high. Unfortunately Sam has primarily been contributing to my insanity so I have nothing funny from him to share and Emma seems to be stuck with some invisible velcro that has her as close to me as much as I permit. Well I am glad tomorrow is the weekend and that if Ian can make it home tonight I will get to have a couple days where my whole day is not consumed with the kids and will have an adult to talk and laugh with. Sometimes being a stay at home mom can be very lonely. The kids owe me some big pay back when they are bigger but unfortunately I will have to wait till they have kids of their own before they know what I am feeling today.
On another note I was hoping to go up to San Jose this weekend to see my grandpa who is officially moving to Florida and does not have much longer to live. Apparently they have too much on their plate.... this has become one of the most bewildering aspects of my family, the lack of importance placed on being a family. Every family is crazy and has crazy characters but at the end of the day what makes them a family is the value they have in being a family, as crazy as they come. I am disappointed in my family and would love to see my Saba one more time and give him a hug and tell him I love him. Well since writing this blog I have gotten up 13 times and been interrupted even more so I think that I will stop here and return to my day and live through the question to find the answer of the importance of sanity. Stay warm everyone.
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