Ok moms here are a few tips on how to get through summer with no money and children who have more energy than any energy drink contains. Really with all the energy drinks there are to be had, I would actually consider buying one if it said, "Kid Juice, Guaranteed to keep your energy up with your children's energy."
All I have right now is coffee which C-can't, O-outlast, F-frenzied, F-flurried, E-early, E-earthlings
Place them on a blanket with a sign that says, "Kid Rental" and see if they can make any money to go to McDonald's.
Tell them that there is a fish that spits out gold coins at the deer's water hole.
Strap a baby on your back and go for a hike. If anything else it will wear you out to the point that you do not care what the kids are doing.
Go back to check on the empty nest to see if the eggs have hatched.
Have the kids compete to see who's Popsicle can last the longest. One slow lick at a time.
Take them to dirt paths and just have them keep going, and going. Actually we have 3 parks in our town and we have park day twice a week. You do the math, yes that is right is takes someone special to keep the interest and desire up.
And finally a letter to the children.
Dearest children,
I know that life does not come with an instruction book and that is why you have parents. One of the finer rules of childhood is, that if Mama is not laughing, It is not funny. So quit laughing, it is just pissing me off. There is plenty to laugh at but walking in dripping wet after I just mopped the floor. Not Funny!! Bringing home a wet disgusting dog while I am in the middle of making dinner. Not Funny!! Keeping moths in the bathroom. Not Funny!! Using crayon on the wall to mark your territory. Not Funny!! Playing tag in the grocery store. Not Funny!! Using your bodies as paint canvases. Not Funny!! Running around me in circles till I could have sworn that my head is going to pop, then finally ending it with a hug. Not Funny!!! but the hug does help. So the moral of this love letter is that if I am not laughing it just really is not that funny and if Mama is pissed there is going to be a greater gap between activities that we all can laugh at. So next time you are caught up in the joyous moment of disaster, take a moment to see if I am laughing too. It just might be your saving grace.
Love always,
Mama
All I have right now is coffee which C-can't, O-outlast, F-frenzied, F-flurried, E-early, E-earthlings
Place them on a blanket with a sign that says, "Kid Rental" and see if they can make any money to go to McDonald's.
Tell them that there is a fish that spits out gold coins at the deer's water hole.
Strap a baby on your back and go for a hike. If anything else it will wear you out to the point that you do not care what the kids are doing.
Go back to check on the empty nest to see if the eggs have hatched.
Have the kids compete to see who's Popsicle can last the longest. One slow lick at a time.
Take them to dirt paths and just have them keep going, and going. Actually we have 3 parks in our town and we have park day twice a week. You do the math, yes that is right is takes someone special to keep the interest and desire up.
And finally a letter to the children.
Dearest children,
I know that life does not come with an instruction book and that is why you have parents. One of the finer rules of childhood is, that if Mama is not laughing, It is not funny. So quit laughing, it is just pissing me off. There is plenty to laugh at but walking in dripping wet after I just mopped the floor. Not Funny!! Bringing home a wet disgusting dog while I am in the middle of making dinner. Not Funny!! Keeping moths in the bathroom. Not Funny!! Using crayon on the wall to mark your territory. Not Funny!! Playing tag in the grocery store. Not Funny!! Using your bodies as paint canvases. Not Funny!! Running around me in circles till I could have sworn that my head is going to pop, then finally ending it with a hug. Not Funny!!! but the hug does help. So the moral of this love letter is that if I am not laughing it just really is not that funny and if Mama is pissed there is going to be a greater gap between activities that we all can laugh at. So next time you are caught up in the joyous moment of disaster, take a moment to see if I am laughing too. It just might be your saving grace.
Love always,
Mama
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