Here we go

To the sound of the trains...

2012-01-17T23:11:00.000-08:00

- having something to say is overrated-

Thought I would begin this post with how I have been feeling lately. :)

I really am just posting for you Johnny. Miss you and worry about you everyday. Life seems to have swept us all off our feet. I look around and in the mirror, we are all trying to find our feet on the ever changing and sinking sands we call our lives. Not complaining just gazing upward wondering if this is how life is supposed to be going. Is there supposed to be so much to worry about, so much to grieve, so much to do, so much to partake in? And then I hear music.... music the language of my soul, Breathing soothing clarity of calm to my heart. Carrying my troubled worries to a place captured between notes, between instruments that sing in unison. What is your music? What temporarily carries you away from the hardships, the heartaches? What silently whispers at you that somehow you are going to be ok and you are doing a good job and you are an amazing person and that this world is beautiful still...

well i don't have much in my journal these days but I did capture a couple stories for you

Sunday afternoon, Ian and Sam are all geared up to watch their football team play an important game. Very optimistic that their team is going to do well we eagerly await the game to start. One player after another appears on the screen, being interviewed about themselves and their team, the interviews are sporadically interrupted by replays of their previous, magnificent plays. Hearing one after another talk about team work and believing in each other I thought that we should take advantage of this opportunity to emphasize with Sam that life would go better if he worked with his sister, believing in her and believing in himself. And in true mother mode fashion I went on and on about all the benefits of team work and ended my (what I thought was a wonderful speech) with "watch how great they are going to do today with all their team work and belief in each other"

Their team lost :(

Another one that had me smiling was while I was in the store with Tela and Emma an older man came up to us and said, "oh you have a wise old soul" smiling at Tela. Tela of course smiles right back as Emma scurries to get behind my legs. He continues to go on to say to Tela, "Yes you have all the wisdom of the universe in you, don't you?" This older man then proceeds to speak to me and says, "That is why HE doesn't talk because HE has all the wisdom of the universe and HE doesn't know how to share it with us. That is why HE just smiles at us all."

Emma at this point has come from around my legs, to get a look at this older man, who has since redirected his attention back onto Tela, "Isn't that right little guy.... all the wisdom of the universe."

I just joined Tela in giving him a smile and went on our way. After our shopping was done we get into the car where Emma proceeded to ask me what wisdom means (she is all about definition of words right now). I informed her that wisdom is having the knowledge of something..... kinda like being smart. Emma just laughed out loud and said, "That old man was kinda like being dumb cause he kept calling Tela a boy and she is wearing all pink."

Well apparently we might start out with all the wisdom of the universe but we end up ........

New Beginnings

2012-01-01T19:35:00.000-08:00

A little bit of peace and love from us all.

Last night Ian and I were talking about how quickly this year has gone past but yet in so many aspects it has gone by so slowly. Today, the first day of a whole new year, we went on a hike as a family.

I am so out of shape!! There is nothing like starting the new year with a hike that makes you feel like you are completely out of shape and old. Thankfully I had a little 4 year old, that was kicking my butt at hiking, to encourage me on. "Be strong mom!!! Just be Strong" "Breathe in and out" "Ok be careful there is a slippery part, just keep going" "You are doing great""We make a good team and I so glad to always be your buddy"

Humbling but I was so thankful for her words, her heart. I could use those words everyday and in so many places. We made it to the top and back again. :) Spending the day talking about this new year and all the resolutions and dreams we have for it. Although today was not really different to any other I found myself eagerly accepting the prospect of new beginnings, new awakenings, new attitudes and new focuses. I think that above all I am ready for some changes. I am ready to turn the page of this tear strewn, heart challenging, mentally exhausting, emotional whirl wind, love enrapturing, soul quested year. Ready to embrace each day as I squeeze the good out of it and gently place the bitter rind of sorrow in my pocket.

So here is to another year and all that it holds. My only prayer is that I am brave enough to greet each new aspect of this year and look it in the eye without running away from it like I always want to.

She was so proud of her dirty cute butt. I am so proud of her cute, magical heart.
I could not imagine traveling this road of life with anyone else by my side. I am so thankful for my husband. My love for him grows every year. He is truly a good man.
Sisters, a closeness that never needs to be spoken and a love for each other that will never waver.
The ray of sunshine streaking through our day. So thankful for it all.... even if she still does not sleep through the night.
Sister and brother, a bond that is always to be admired and appreciated.
Tela at five months old hence the fatigued look of her mama. Love this little girl who is the bestest baby there is.
Christmas morning. So many things to be grateful for and my top five reasons are surrounding me.

Dear Safta

2011-11-22T16:15:00.000-08:00

Dear Safta,

I know that you always loved to read, so I thought on a day that I am missing you, so much more than usual, I would write you a letter.

It has been two years since I got to hold your hand. Two years of so much life and sorrow. Laughter and tears. So many times I have wanted to talk things over with you and just hear your sunshine voice tell me to be happy. I'm trying and for the most part I take your words and live by them.

Your two new great-grand-babies are sooo cute and growing by leaps and bounds. They are going to know your love because it was so infectious that these two little angles' moms can't help but pass it on to them. All the other great grandbabies are doing well too. Growing up in little blinks of an eye. You must be so proud to see the little people that each and everyone of them are growing into. I can hear you telling their moms that they are amazing moms and doing such a good job. These children are so loved and so lucky to have the wonderful moms that they do.

I am a bit worried about your grandbabies. We all miss you so much. We miss having you as our family focal point. We miss having you tell each one of us that we are so loved and come and talk to you. We miss feeling connected in the way that only you made us feel. I know that you are so proud of us and continue loving us from your new address but there is still that little kid in each of us that wants to climb back up on your lap and just feel your embrace again.

I know that we are all living our lives with you in our hearts. Striving to love like you loved, smile on life like you smiled on life, and embrace the ones we love like there is nothing else in the world to do.

Loving you today and always,

Your queen in the castle on the mountain side

No Way

2011-10-20T11:05:00.000-07:00

This is Emma's current favorite story...

There was a little girl who needed to get dressed for the day.

Her Daddy said, "You should wear some long pants with lots of pockets to hold things in, a comfy shirt and work boots."

"NO WAY" said the little girl

"You should wear a skirt with a clean shirt and some flip flops" said her Mother

"NO WAY" said the little girl

"I know" said her big sister, "you should wear a horse shirt, long shorts and boots."

"NO WAY" said the little girl

"How about a dirty shirt and shorts, some soccer shoes and a baseball hat," said her big brother.

"NO WAY" said the little girl

"I think you should wear a diaper" said her baby sister.

"NO WAY" said the little girl

"I am going to wear a sparkle shirt, a pink tutu and no shoes on my feet u-ha!!"

2011-10-08T18:50:00.000-07:00

A lot of time I just feel confused.... Wondering why time passes so quickly with so many changes. Was today a really good day and I am not going to have a good day again for a while or was today a shadow of a great day that is going to happen soon?

And then there is reality

2011-10-05T19:57:00.000-07:00

The reality is that I really and truly want to blog but have quickly remembered how little I get to do with a newborn... not to mention the very entertaining and wanting to be entertained 4 year old and the lets be all boy and just wait and see what happens 8 year old and the oh I am 11 years old and like to try on teenage attitude just to see how I look in it. Yep so sorry Johnny I know that I told you I would blog more and really intended to have a post for your birthday but you will be glad to know that I have been keeping notes. Yep my, The Beatles Yellow Submarine notebook has been a steady companion and caust most of the quirky sayings overheard in my life. Soooo Here we go again.......

Mom - Why did people make sports?

Sam - For me

Leah - I think cause people got bored

Me- Why is the earth round?

Emma - Cause it has to fit in God's hand and there has to be a place for China and that is how God made it.

Emma - Unicorns are real!!

Me - How do you know?

Emma - Cause they are in our land.

A few weeks after sharing this knowledge with Sam.......

Me- If you could ask God anything what would you ask?

Emma - I would ask that when I go to heaven there would be all the real animals and one un-real animal. Do you want to know what un-real animal I want? A flying unicorn

Emma- "I feel like I'm 8 when I stand on my tiptoes."

Leah to Tela (all the time) - "You are so loved"

Leah - I'm hot.

Sam - Leah's glowing. When you get hot girls glow and boys sweat.

Me - What is the most important thing in the world?

Emma - Going new places

Dad - You need to get out of Lala land

Leah - I don't even know how to get to Lala land

Emma trying to comfort Tela - "You're ok. You're ok sweetie." -in a whisper - "you better stop your fussing or mom is gonna put you in a time out."

Mom and Dad - EMMA!!!!

Emma - You both said that at the same time

Mom - Yeah and we both said it in an angry tone

Emma - God doesn't like that tone

Emma singing pat-a-cake to Tela and pauses in the middle of the song with a look of concern on her face - "It's ok Tela I am just singing the song you don't really have to do it."

Mom - What makes a family?

Emma - When we get together

Froot Loop Land

2011-08-29T14:58:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time there was a froot loop land. Some animals lived there and they really wanted to eat all the froot loops but they couldn't without a spoon. The spoon was in one of the froot loop mountains. STUCK. There has to be someone with the purest heart to pull out the spoon.

All the animals looked for the one with the purest heart. They found the prettiest princess but she didn't talk nice and she didn't have the purest heart.

Then the animals found the strongest guy but he did not help anyone and he didn't have the purest heart.

Then the animals found a little tiny ant who spoke nice. Then the ant said, "What are you guys looking for?"

And the animals said, "We are looking for someone with the purest heart."

Then the ant said, "Ok I'll watch an eye who has the purest heart. "

Then the ant thought he has a pure heart so he went to the top of the froot loop mountain and tried to pull out the spoon. And HE DID. So the animals could eat all the froot loops.

The End

Emma has gotten into a really bad habit of eating about 10 bites of an apple and then being done and throwing the rest of the apple away. Well today after her 10 bites and acclaimed fullness I said, "But wait if we cut the apple in half and there is a star in the middle then you might get super powers from eating the rest of the apple."

Her eyes got huge as she responded with, "Did God do this? Can I get the super power of shooting fire from my hands? Or maybe I will get the force field or flower gardening without having to plant anything powers."

I didn't know she had so many powers at the tip of her thoughts and was a little concerned that my eating challenge might just bite me in the butt. Then I thought of some other powers eating a whole apple might give her body.

Well off to the kitchen we went and low and behold there was a star in the middle of her apple. Well she munched that apple down.... well as close as she could get to the star so that she would get all the super powers that God had put into this apple.

Amidst her bites she started feeling some powers and about half way done she exclaimed with excitement, "I feel that I am in an invisible bubble" Well if there is ever a super power that you could not argue the existence of, than this is one of them. Whenever I would challenge her bubble it would pop and then reappear. I don't know what super power it held other than making her feel awesome in her invisible bubble. She mostly finished her apple and keeps anticipating if any other super powers are coming. Like maybe she can turn everything to ice.

Sam had his first soccer game and did awesome. He just loves playing and this year his team seems really good. They won 8 to nothing. Last year Sam loved playing goalie cause that was where all the action was, this year he doesn't want to play goalie cause it is boring. He played so great it was as if he had not stopped playing since last year. Love watching his smile race around the field.

Leah continues to be awestruck by her teacher and daily comes home with the funniest quotes from her teacher. The one that still has me laughing is, "My teacher said that she always has goals cause she does not want to drink herself to death like her dad."

Ian and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary. He is a good man, with a good heart, and truly a wonderful husband. Can't believe that it has already been five years and can't believe that it has only been five years.

After a long day we enjoyed a music filled evening, in the newly finished back yard, with some wine, cheese and Tela. I told her that it will be the last time she can join us on an anniversary dinner. It was nice to be accompanied by the starlit sky and meaningful songs as we recaptured the last year and our desires for the next five years.

Tabasco the Super Hero

2011-08-24T14:41:00.000-07:00

I Love this picture

Emma has been all into story telling, so the other day I grabbed some paper and a pencil and this is the story that followed.

Once upon a time there was a princess. She had the most prettiest eyes and prettiest shoes and the most prettiest crown and the prettiest face and the most prettiest nail polish of all. She had beautiful dresses and beautiful lip stick and most of all her heart was very love. Her name is Sparkle Rainbow.

One day vampire took the princess to his own castle and then suddenly a super hero came. Tabasco the super hero. He could breathe fire and so he went to the vampires castle to save the princess.

After Tabasco saved Sparkle Rainbow they went to a wedding where they danced and married.

After they were married they went to the princess castle where they had fire breathing princess children cause they kissed. And they loved their dad.

The End

She has told and narrated a few more stories for Tela, which we are going to have to print up and make into a book one day. She is such a good big sister and is very attentive to Tela. Whenever I am feeding Tela she asks what Tela is eating now. "Is this a snack before snack time?" "Is she having dinner or dessert right now?" And finally and on numerous occasions through out the day, "What is she eating or is she drinking something and is it water or juice or milk?" Emma has learned that when I am feeding Tela she has to wait. I realized that it had sunk in when Emma asked me to get her a snack and without me answering Emma responded to her own request with, "You have to say, What am I doing right now Emma?"
It is hard to believe that Tela is four weeks old today. She continues to remain one of the best babies in the world. I am trying to keep her awake more in the day so that we are less awake at night.

Leah and Sam are doing great in school and have easily transitioned into their school routine of life. Sam is very proud that thus far he has not gone to the principles office and Leah has been asking questions about junior high which has me wishing that this year would drag by for her. They both seem to like their teachers and Leah loves the fact that her teacher loves art projects.

Emma NEEDS to go to school.... each day it is becoming more apparent just how much she needs the social interaction outside of mom and dad. And more importantly, mom and dad need to have social interaction for Emma outside of themselves.

All in all, admits Sam's current wails over homework, life is going along smooth. Kids are all doing well and the parents for the most part have their heads above the water and if by any chance we are overwhelmed than we can always call on Tabasco - The Super Hero.

Foggy minded mother

2011-08-20T12:09:00.000-07:00

I have noticed that the older Tela gets the more tired I become and the more tired I become the foggier my brain becomes. You know that state of mind that seems to lack any and all clarity to your thought process. For example I was folding the clothes in my room, went out to Sam's room to get some hangers only to realize 20 min later and while vacuuming the living room that I was in the middle of folding clothes in my room and had not even gone into Sam's room for something or another.

It all reminds me of that commercial for allergies when the scene is all hazy and then the individual takes some meds and suddenly the scene becomes clear. Yeah well so far there does not seem to have any meds for foggy minded mothers.

So until they come up with some meds or I get a good nights sleep I have decided to embrace my foggy minded state of existence.

Parenting with a foggy mind is much like driving in the fog. You slow down a bit and can't really see all that is going on around you or where you are going. But much like a daily commute, if you have been down the road often enough than you really don't need to see all that clearly anyway. You seem to get to your destination but can't describe the drive. The kids are getting to bed everyday but I am having a hard time describing the day that got us there.

For example the other day I found myself checking the crib for Tela only realizing that I had put her in the bouncer. I got Emma lunch only to realize that I had just pulled out the cereal boxes. Headed to the store only to forget the list, grabbed the list than forgot that I had the list leaving me wandering around the store trying to remember what I was there for. While making dinner I checked the trash to see if I had put an egg in the mac and cheese. Getting so excited that it is bed time and then trying to remember where the day went.

This blog alone has taken me a better part of the day cause I am having such a hard time keeping a steady stream of thoughts on this subject and primarily I just keep forgetting that I am in the middle of a blog. Oh the joys of living with a foggy minded me.

I think I blinked

2011-08-18T13:46:00.001-07:00

I am pretty sure that I blinked somewhere in time. This is a picture of the kids on their first day of school last year.

And this is the kids this year heading off to 5th and 3rd grade. This will be Leah's last year at the elementary school and Sam has moved out of the hall that we are all so familiar with. Where has the time gone and when did they become so big?

Well before the kids started school and since Tela, at this point, is a couple weeks old we got in a camping trip. We went to Kennedy Meadows for the first time and am so glad that we did. It was exactly what we needed as a family. We spent a couple nights and three days playing, swimming, and fishing in the perfect flowing stream for the kids. Tela survived with no mosquito bites and no sunburn (unlike the rest of us.)

After the first night with little sleep and sore hips from sleeping in the car with Tela I wearily exclaimed, "I am looking forward to reflecting back on this trip and laughing at how ridiculous we are for camping with a two week old." Yet as I said it I knew that we were not very ridiculous as I see Sam and Leah return from yet another adventure like two best buddies. The grin on Ian's face as he smiles at me once again and says, "I am glad that we did this" and Emma who is singing away as she is collecting rocks.

The perfect smore. Emma kept saying how much she LOVES SMORING!!!!

The water was cold but not cold enough to keep anyone out. We pretty much had the whole campground to ourselves and we loved the quality time together.

Neither Sam or Leah caught any fish but oh my goodness the amount of bites Sam "got." We did see a lot of sizable fish and I am sure that he got a few bites unfortunately they did not want to stay on the hook. Leah tried to scare one of the fish out of the water but that did not work either.

My favorite time was sitting around the camp fire as we all took turns telling ghost stories or just scary stories that can't be too scary. Emma did a great job with her voice fluctuation as she told of a headless ghost who stole everyone's smores. Oh the horror. Sam did a great job until he lost focus and then the story just turned into a directionless story of a cat who had wings chased a dog up a tree. And of course Leah was on top of her story telling and repeated a spooky story from school.

Well I am glad that we went camping as a family and can hardly believe that the kids are back into school and lazy days of summer are over. This summer has felt like a daze and new beginning, changes, and time passing seems to take me by surprise each and every time. I know that blinking is part of life but I wish that not so much would happen in between blinks.

Torturously, joyful entire family outings

2011-08-13T14:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we took our first entire family outing, big, fat, yellow dog included. We went up to mountain park for a picnic, then stopped at a couple of stores before heading home. After our errands and feeling a bit worn out and filthy we all climbed into the car, found seats, space for our recently purchased items, got everyone buckled, I look over to see Ian collapse into the driver seat with a sigh and stated, "That was really hard."

Mentally I recaptured our day that included numerous exasperated moments that led up to us finally leaving the house for our LUNCH picnic at 2 pm. A couple hours spent quickly devouring food, a small walk (my hips are still funky), keeping the baby from all the flies, praying that she doesn't get stung by the numerous mosquitos. Getting a few bites ourself, keeping the kids from fighting and out of he car while I'm feeding the baby. Sticking to our word that despite Emma's screams and tears she can't keep the stick that is her gun and already been used in a few assaults on her big brother and sister. Getting everyone back into the car without hurting each other or the dog while still trying to obey the law and have everyone buckled. Arriving to the store, bribing everyone o get out of the car with the promise of ice cream sundays after dinner and I need their help to buy some stuff for that (my whole reason to stop at the store!! I promise.) Get my stuff and turn down the aisle to find the rest of the crew only to have one then two more toy cars come zooming from a side aisle. Praying that my dear children were not the engines behind these driver-less vehicles. Only to see my dear husband step out in pursuit of the cars with a big grin on his face (which quickly fades upon seeing me) followed by 3 filthy kids smiling away. Trying to keep my composure Tela and I continue past the parade and decide that we could use more beer in our house.

I finally check out as Ian, Sam, and Emma have run over to get our pizza for dinner. We meet up at the car and there I find myself wondering exactly what moment Ian was referring to with his statement. What exactly was "really hard" in his mind?

Thankfully he answered my unspoken question with, "That is really hard to go anywhere with the entire family. We should just stay home and never go anywhere."

Oh how my heart for years has agreed with that statement (in moments) yet everything in me could not let him know how much I agreed because I had finally persuaded him that we should go camping as a family before the kids go back to school. Despite all the headache that is to come I am determined we have at least one or two nights camping and spending time as an entire family. No matter how hard it is.

So this morning when Ian said he is going to drive to Bakersfield to pick up an exterior storage thing for our car so we could go camping I had to hide my smile but oh how my heart sang. With his good heart and despite his statement made just the day before Ian had joined me in the torturously, joyful boat of parenting four children and a big, fat, yellow dog. You know that aspect of parenting that cringes and lives for the painfully, glorious outings as an entire family.

I love the look Emma is giving her dad here. She has him wrapped around her pinky. His nickname for her is Beebers and one day he accidently called Tela that so we quickly had to come up with another nickname for Tela. Ian started calling her Squeakers (which she completely lives up to) and now Emma proudly introduces her as Tela Squeakers River Newkirk.
The kids are doing the first letter to their name.
I LOVE YOU. Well kind of, but that is what we were going for.

Emma came up to me the other day as I was feeding Tela and stated "Mom your boo boos (boobs) are going to be flat soon." Ian started laughing and exclaimed "Oh how right you are Emma" which just ruffled my feathers like truth often does, so I retorted back to Emma, who since this whole nursing thing has arisen, has been very interested in the size of boo boos (especially hers,) "Well yours are already flat."

Oh the look she gave me. It was one of those awful parenting moments when ugliness has flown from your mouth and you just want to take it back but you can't. I knew it was a low blow and the look from her face said that she knew it too. So if you hear me say how big and nice Emma's boo boos are going to be when she grows up... well now you know why.

Oh the things she will learn

2011-08-09T15:00:00.000-07:00

It is hard to believe that two weeks ago tomorrow I couldn't wait to kiss Tela's cheeks and now I can't imagine a day being real without kissing those cheeks. She is soooo kissable and such a good baby.

What is even harder for me to believe is that the kids are down to their last week of summer vacation. If I had not been butting heads with Sam since 9 this morning I would have readily and honestly said that in no way, shape or form am I ready to send them back to school but thankfully my children are blissfully full of human annoyances and stubbornness thus readying this mother's heart to bid them farewell
The kids, Emma in particular, have loved the 3 foot deep pool grandma and grandpa got this summer. Emma can be a dolphin or a penguin on any given day as she goes between the cold pool and a warm tub as often and as long as she is permitted.
This is Leah getting her hair wet. She is a lot more sensitive to the water temp on this day this was the extent of her going "swimming."

And then there is Sam who would go swimming in true Sam fashion (spastically) Between him and Ian the water gun was rarely left unattended.

So on the subject of school and learning I asked each of the kids to write down all the things that they want to teach Tela.

Leah is going to teach her to eat with manners, do art and crafts, walk, sit, sing, read, build and design. According to Leah, Mom is there for you, Dad is working hard, Emma will play anytime, Sam will play games with you, Grandpa will tickle you and Grandma makes things fun with you

Sam has the basics covered like walk, run, play sports, ride a bike, sing (I hope not, he sings as bad as me), jump, eat, sit, open a present and teach her when her birthday is.

And then there is Emma who loved this assignment so much she spent an entire evening designated to running up to me sporadically yelling new things she wants to teach Tela. She started with the basics, (and I am doing it in her order) sit, walk, hold her head, stand up, not sleep as much, make stuff like crafts and good coloring, doing ballet herself, pee in the potty, eat with a fork, swim under water, swim on her back, listen to everything and grow up and be a big girl.

Emma's advise on the family was to see everybody, get away from Grandpa's tickle fingers, Grandma always let you go swimming, stay away from Daddy's pokeys (whiskers) and he is so ticklish, Mom always kisses everybody and she is magical, Leah is kind, Sam is crazy and this family is so great.

I see her changing a little every day and despite what some may believe I think that her cheeks are getting some chunk on them. She has earned the nickname squeaker since thus far she has yet to really cry but when awake and really hungry she lets out little squeaks. She continues to be the most laid back baby I have met and I daily am thankful that she is here to love on and kiss.

I am a happy mama as I find myself bound to a chair, nursing a consistently hungry baby, watching the love that is flowing through our home. Sometimes the love is covered by grumpy clouds and tired eyes, pushed buttons or overly antagonized children, but there remains a steady stream of good hearts in each of the crazy members we call our family. Yet as Emma said, "This family is so great" and we are all ready to teach Tela so much. Whether she wants to learn it or not!!

Little Miss Tela River Newkirk

2011-08-03T20:20:00.000-07:00

Oh to so smitten and in love with the smallest lips, dangliest arms, and cutest "big" toes.. I got to hold/kiss all of that and so much more for the first time last Wednesday. Little Miss Tela River Newkirk was born at 6:16am, weighing 6lb and 11oz, measuring just over 19 inches, eager to feed and be kissed.

She has got to be the most laid back baby and oh so good. Ok given it has only been a week but in my unbiased opinion she is perfect.

Leah, Sam and Emma are just as smitten and each fight over who gets to hold her, pick out her clothes and who can change her diaper (I expect that one to change.)

Dad just thinks that she is sooo cute and is daily asking her for a smile. Tela loves his guitar playing and will listen to him wide eyed and content as can be as long as he keeps strumming or she falls asleep, which often comes first.

I have often heard that in birth and death we feel closer to heaven. Yet with Tela I felt that she brought a little of heaven down to me. She has such an undemanding, quiet presence about her that she forces me to be still and calm. Savoring the sweet nothings and wanting nothing more than to hold close the ones I love. Her name means, song of praise - flowing through- a new church. I love the joy of getting to know her, loving on her, and appreciating the song of her presence.

Any Given Day

2011-07-14T18:52:00.000-07:00

I am due in two weeks but if you were to ask Muna this baby could come any given day. Any given day can bring forth so much joy yet any given day can bring life changing sorrow.

I have not blogged since finding out we were pregnant on the one year anniversary of Safta leaving her body. A day that flooded me with missing her to a pee stick that seemed to yell, "Life continues and new joys are to be found."

Since then Sam has turned 8, Emma is now 4 and oh so proud of it, and as Emma exclaims "the baby in your belly is getting sooo big." The joys and chaos of life continues. School for Leah and Sam who proudly graduated from 4th and 2nd grade. Emma, my constant companion during the days and at every doctor appointment. Oh and then the joyous approach of summer. Warm days, popsicles, lots of family time and wonderful plans being made.

Our annual camping trip, that thanks to Ian's parents, was not going to be spent sleeping on the floor of a tent but in the comfort of a rental house. The much anticipated day finally came, our house was filled with excited anticipation of all the natural joys we knew were going to fill our next few days.

No one knew that this day would change our lives forever. Aiden would not wake up. The spiral of helplessness, questions, anguish, heartache, tears, bewilderment and loss engulfed the family like the wave of a tsunami. This was not real and it was not happening to us.

It has been four weeks today since Jen couldn't wake Aiden up. Four weeks of heartache so intense it hurts to breathe. Tears that flow without rhyme or reason other than your sorrow needs to escape somehow. Four weeks of questions.... medical questions, emotional questions, and spiritual questions. Feeling that maybe if some of the questions were answered that it would not hurt so much yet knowing the whole time that it is not answers but time itself that might ease some of the pain.

Yet I continue to feel that any day now I am going to wake up from this nightmare. Any day now Aiden is going to come running up to me with his glorious smile and arms stretched wide. Any day now the kids will have their cousin back, the grandparents will have their grandson back, the uncles and aunts will have their nephew back and the mother will have her peanut back. Any day now

I wonder and question why God would have us love and be loved only to have the source taken from us so suddenly and so soon. Are all these 'any days' intertwined with eternity and once our souls have moved on than we will be living in that 'any day' NOW. And as I wait for the day to come when I might, for a moment, understand why our dear Aiden was taken from us so suddenly and so young. I find that life has continued. Sometimes so slow that the treasure and ache of a minute is pressed against me and other times so fast that I fear I just missed an answer to one of my million questions. The kids seem to thrust adults into a realm of reality and the present. This little girl inside of me, kicking with life, continuing with her first announcement on a pee stick, "Life continues and new joys are to be found" she seems to have been predestined to be a life of reassurance and comfort.

She will not have met her cousin but she will know him because in his almost six years of life he would fill any given day up with a hug and conversation. He was and will always be a massive part of the family. A family that is going to have to figure out a new way to function but a family non the less that is going to take each and any given day to let each other know how much we love each other and how precious each life is.

So little Miss. No Name go easy on me these last two weeks, please can we make it to the hospital before your grand entry, and welcome to your family that in time of heartache love you so tenderly and so much.

So much for Fall

2010-11-21T18:29:00.001-08:00

So on Thursday Emma and I took advantage of a beautiful day and went for a enchanted hike in our backyard. Fairies, trolls and all things mystical to a three year old were alive and active in the forest. It was so much fun.

Emma will climb anything and everything. It was impossible to keep her feet on the ground. Most of the hike went accordingly, "come on Emma lets go look at this beautiful tree" "Um I don't think I can climb that tree to the top so lets go look at another tree" And a big thank you to my brother Josh cause every rock is to be climbed to the very top starting from the very bottom. I do not think that Emma realizes that her mother can not reach very high.

And then this morning, we all awoke to snow. Yes snow... like 6 inches of snow. Ian had made the statement that I am always grumpy with the first snow and sure enough this morning when I woke up to three eager faces and a white world outside our window, I turned grumpy quicker than the kids could ask me where their gloves were and hats and boots and jackets and the other glove and the pants and their sleds and the hot chocolate and everything else that comes with three eager beavers ready to spend 30 min to get ready and 10 min outside.

Emma has been saying since the summer that she wants it to snow cause she loves eating snow. So today she was the happiest girl chomping down on the snow to her little heart and frozen hands content.

Sam is all about throwing, well he is all about throwing year round but when it snows his thrill is all about the right and privilege to throw snowballs. And I can finally say that at almost 8 years of age he is finally learning some discretion at who to throw the snowballs at and how hard. He knows better that a mama with a camera is no target although he did try and throw one on the roof above my head which, to his surprise, landed right next to me.

And Leah is all about making a snowman, which she did very cute and successfully (failed to get a picture) She loves the venture of snow but like most of her days in life prefers her interaction with others (ie Dad and Sam) on her terms.

And then there is my biggest kid who I am so thankful quickly puts on his snow pants and is always the first to start a snow fight and pull out the sleds.

They would hike up the back hill where Ian promptly ditched Emma to her snow eating and sled down the hill followed by squeals of delight from Sam who is on the back seat of the sled.

The kids had a blast and I loved watching them from the garage with my cup of coffee and the strong desire to not be grumpy over the obvious fact that we are done with Fall and into the freeze of winter.

And just breathe

2010-11-16T20:30:00.000-08:00

Wow what a week that started about a month ago. Two baby showers in two days can leave a woman wiped out and I am not even pregnant. First and foremost Yudi's baby shower for her daughter (so excited) was a big success. I can say that cause first Safta was smiling and second Yudi said she felt so loved. Mission accomplished. I will post pictures at another time. The days are rolling into a blur and those quiet days at home with just Emma have become scarcer than those hot summer days. But today was one of those rare days and oh how my heart sang and oh how Emma made me laugh. She is such a hoot and a holler and although I love her company if anyone is ever in need of a companion who wins your heart while transferring you to an enchanting world..... she is your girl.
Our day started with dropping the kids off and heading to the store and then to a thrift store where Emma found this sparkle plant.

She was thrilled with her discovering and happy to pay for this balloon weight we loaded back into the car and headed home. And on the way home I heard her true vision for this plastic concoction. "I am going to plant it and it is going to grow and we are going to have a huge sparkle tree in our yard and Dada is going to say, oh how nice, thank you Emma" Suddenly she lets out a huge gasp and exclaims, "it needs water, it is dying!!!" Trying not to laugh out loud at her obvious distress I try to calm her with reassuring words that I am sure that it is not dying. "It is dying one of the words fell off! Hurry mom we need to get it home and give it some water" So home we rush.... just in time to save her sparkle plant and place it safely in a pot with some dirt, sunshine, water and a sprinkle of love. Now we are just waiting to see what happens.....
She had me in stitches at bath time today as she wades around in her bathing suit that is more like a wet suit. It was guess the sound game and oh how her imagination is at work. Neigh, what is that Emma? A unicorn. Grrrr what is that Emma? A dragon Neighhhhhh what is that Emma? My little pony. soap soap soap what is that Emma? Soap silly as she bursts out laughing
And to end all days with a good wink at the world. She has been practicing for ages (along with moving her eyebrows up and down) and finally got it. So cute

Along with the falling leaves

2010-11-07T19:01:00.000-08:00

My days seem to be like the falling leaves. They are passing, some seem to fall silently by as if in a whisper while others make a grand array of themselves before joining the others on the speckled ground. Yet just like my days the falling leaves have now become a glorious pile of days gone past and a beautiful reminder to jump right into the huge pile of unblogged memories. So here we go again.

I truly wish there were ways to bottle moments of happiness. To store in a priceless or disposable bottle all those emotions of joy that wrapped themselves around your being and heart in the delightful days of happiness. Save those moments in a bottle, for those moments that are bound to happen, where happiness has been washed away and sorrow seems to have taken domain. And since I have yet to find a bottle that I can grasp but instead found words reread to release previous joys, it is words that I find myself writing because these days of mine are filled with so much happiness. Lets see since my birthday, which was a wonderful day despite having forgot my wallet in Ian's car so I remained without identity or access to our bank account (kept me sober and on budget), we have enjoyed halloween, friends, family, a Mike Gordon concert and the end of Sam's soccer season.

We had a very tired penguin between passing our cookies out and actually going trick or treating.
A horse, a ninja and a penguin made a lot of neighbors smile as that is what they saw when they answered their doors. It was so cute to see them hand over a bag of cookies and then remain frozen in their spots until the recipient returned with a candy for the kids.
Sam carrying the basket of goodies for the neighbors which was quickly replaced with a basket full of goodies for the kids.
We were so excited to dress up for halloween that we snatched any chance we got to put on a silly face prior to the actual dress up day. I love the way they make me laugh.
Emma with her jack-o-lantern and a her scary face.
Ahhh it's all my kids decorating cookies for our neighbors.
Well Sam's soccer season is over for the year. He was just sheer delight for me to watch. Every Saturday I would find myself getting soooo into his game as he would spend the entire hour running his heart out and grinning the whole time. I am kinda gonna miss his Saturday games.
Yet like all things I am also glad that with the change in the weather we will no longer be supporting overpriced hot chocolate prices and trying to keep two cute girls warm and happy.
Sam made a great goalie and on his last game Ian told Sam that he could throw the ball out to his players and not just kick it. We thought that his shoulder would be sore the next day with all the great throwing that he did.

Ok I really should go and help Ian put the kids to bed but real quick..... Last night we (Ian, Chris and myself) went and saw Mike Gordon (bass player for Phish.) It was awesome!! It was a small, small venue so we got to be right next to the stage, five feet from the band who throughout both sets would make eye contact with us and smile in response. For the second set I got to sit on the stage and as someone yelled out, "YOu are on the stage, you are part of the band" Yeah for me!!!!

My favorite part of the show was gazing over at my husband and see his glorious face all lit up with a huge grin, as he is swept up in the beat of the bass guitar and harmony of the music.

Ok there is so much more that I could add to these few words and pictures but I really feel that I should help with the kids and kiss my husband.

The final days

2010-10-24T19:43:00.000-07:00

Well I got one more day of being 30 and then apparently I am supposed to start being 30 something. Really kinda just over it all. What I am also over is our month of being vegetarian. Yeah we did it!!! Tomorrow will be our final day of no meat and then bring on the steak, chicken and oh how I have been wanting a great sausage gravy with a fat biscuit. It is hard to believe that a month has passed since Ian suggested his crazy plan. I have really enjoyed the challenge and feel that I have gained confidence in the kitchen (not necessarily with tofu.)

Can you believe that I have not written a post in 20 days. Yes I am slapping my hand and wishing that I had forced myself to take a few minutes to write down those 30+ posts that were floating around my head and now seem to be gone for good.

The kids are all gearing up for halloween and we have settled on being a horse, a dog, and a penguin. I don't know what strange farmer/zoo owner is going to take them door to door but they are going to be the cutest animal combo ever.

Sam got all A's on his first report card from second grade and Leah got an A and the rest B's. We are so proud of both of them. Both the kids spent an entire evening in Sam's room with all the craft supplies making me a birthday present and last night, while Josh was here, they presented their gifts to me. Melt my heart!!!!! They had each written and illustrated a book for me. So creative, personal and exactly what I wanted for my birthday.

I am kinda having a hard time this birthday since it will be the first birthday in my life that I won't be getting a card from Safta. But love continues to abound and pouring into my heart and life. Oh and I am getting a new sewing machine (mine died). I am so excited. I have decided to kinda start a little business of selling homemade baby gifts i.e. burp cloths, carseat covers, hats and blankets. I kinda need to cover the cost of fabric and am so in love with sewing and creating cuteness. Speaking of cuteness, Yudi's baby shower is quickly approaching and I am lost in the world of tweet tweets. It is all coming together so well and I am getting so excited. Here is a picture of her diaper cake. :)

So my days are continually filled with activities, friends, projects and family. I remember not too long ago when nothing was on the calendar and my days were blank pages flapping from one day to the next in the wind. Yet now I actually have to write stuff on the calendar so that I do not overbook. Well like today for example, a friend came up and said, "ok so I'll see you on Tuesday" With a blank, concerned look in my eyes I quickly asked, "Ummm what is happening Tuesday?" "Oh the husbands have been planning it, you guys are going to come over Tuesday for dinner" Feeling obligated to explain my flabbergasted expression I quickly exclaimed, "Tuesday is my birthday and we are supposed to go to Ian's parent's house for my birthday dinner" Oh my gosh my husband is sooo fired. Apparently Ian thought my birthday was on Wednesday and ....... yeah

Sometimes admits the chaos Emma feels a little left out (like she is not all that I focus on 24/7) so I always love those days when we have nothing to do but hang out together and my how those days are cherished by us both.

We had so much fun taking out own pictures with all the funny faces we could muster up.
She keeps me laughing so hard and is truly my little delight.

She is all into knock knock jokes right now and her sense of humor is completely taking off to a new level..... just wish that I got her jokes every so often.
Can you roll your tongue? can you?
My handsome boy who I happened to have with me when I was at this cute little garden.
He melts my heart every day and his crazy Sam stories are becoming fewer and farther between but every so often and a few times a week Sam still does completely Sam stuff. Like last Sunday when he came into church and sat down on the pew next to me. Gazing down on him, all smiles from each of us until I looked down at his filthy hands and clutched between his index finger and his thumb was a big, fat, stub tailed lizard. Trying not to laugh out loud and scream I sat down and whispered in his ear, "Sam you can't have lizards in the church" "But mom Hannah (age 11) said that I could" Sam continued to sit there eyes gazed ahead. Again trying not to scream at him so resorting to the clenched teeth growl tone, "Sam you can not have a lizard in the church!!!" He reluctantly got up and walked out of the sanctuary only to return 2 minutes later holding a little paper water cup. Despite knowing the reality of this scene I still gazed into the cup hoping to only see water, and sure enough there was the big, fat, stub tailed lizard frantically and almost successfully clambering to get out of its new habitat. This time I assisted Sam and his lizard out of the church, past the humorous gazes of many other parents, out the front door and into the open air. I was not concerned in the least about this lizards salvation and after watching Sam place the cup in a box among the plants (for later), it appeared that I did not care much for the lizards life either.

Oh and fall is here.... as in the cold days have begun and rain and mud and the cold. Soooo not ready for it. I told Ian that if we have a cold winter I am moving to San Luis for the winter and will be back for the summer. "I'll just be your summer wife" Without missing a beat he asked what he will do over the winter. "Oh you can go ahead and find a winter wife" So maybe craig's list or something but it sounds like we are going to be in for a cold winter and Ian will be looking for a wife.

I am really trying to blog. For reals, not just for pretends

2010-10-04T16:21:00.000-07:00

I am really trying to blog, for reals but first Emma and now Leah have come into my five minutes of me time and out the wide open sliding door went all my thoughts. Yes that wide open sliding door that is letting in the first real Fall rains, winds and chills. And why would these beautiful, darling daughters want to interrupt my time and focus, well and I am quoting "we caught this really creepy ugly thing in the garage and look at it and tell us what it is cause it is really creepy" all being said as they inch an open bug container closer to my face.

So we are definitely nearing that dreaded part of the year..... coldness. But before it is freezing we get these really cool thunder storms while it is still 80 degrees outside and before we get these really cool thunder storms we get these really cool clouds.

Of course if it is going to rain for like five minutes than Emma has to get all her gear on and go dance in the rain.

So yesterday I watched the movie Julia and Julie (really enjoyed it) and the last 10 min of my life completely confirmed the fact that neither one of those ladies could have possibly accomplished what they did with children in tow. I was slightly inspired to pursue my own quests, not so much for an audience but for the perpetual pursuit of resolve, pride, and happiness with oneself. Yet as I finished the movie and was left on the edge of my seat dying to know if Julie actually ever met Julia, I looked at my messy house, my table strewn with unfinished projects, my three kids and realized that I am multiplying my chances of accomplished dreams by three. Yeah for me!!!!
These are just random pictures from the soccer park cause I was bored (don't tell Sam) and the clouds were very not boring.
So this day, last week Ian came home and said that he wanted to be a vegetarian for a month. After I literally swallowed my shock and fears I decided to completely embrace this challenge. A week later and we are doing good. I am daily gaining confidence in the kitchen. I even bought tofu, for the first time in my life, still don't know what I am going to do with it. So far I have made, curried lentils, potato soup, spaghetti, mushroom alfredo pasta, bean and corn enchiladas and according to spell check I do not know how to spell anything that I have made. I have been making everything from scratch, with fresh ingredients and last night after yet another crazy day that started the week before I broke down and bought frozen pizzas for dinner. Lets just say that my stomach went into a rumbling revolt and further committed my physical being to fresh foods. The vegetarian meals have me laughing, the general ones that people like are 1/2 cup of this, 1/2 cup of that and then 3 cups of cheese. Or there is this vegetarian cookbook from the 70s that Ian's mom lent me where pretty much every recipe requests wine or some kind of liquor oh and tomato paste. So what I can see is if I have wine, cheese, and tomato paste in my house than we will be set for the next month.
I can hardly say it without going into shock but we are in October. So to try and keep up with the days that go so fast I invited a friend over for witches brew (split pea soup.) Emma and I had fun decorating the table in anticipation of all things that are spooky but not scary, sneaky but not full of surprises. Emma said that we can be good witches and she will "just be me."

Wow I do not even know if this post will make any sense but I think that I have had like 10 minutes to myself. Well here is to storms, vegetarian meals, and everything that was thrown into the pot for good measure.

Three post rolled into one

2010-09-28T16:36:00.000-07:00

So this entry is going to contain three different posts rolled into one cause it appears that I have entered yet another season of my life. A season that contains a lot of rolling.... rolling laundry, sweeping, and acting like a queen for my three year old princess into more than one moment, rolling friendships, sewing, and childcare into an afternoon, rolling love, laughter, and vegetarian dinners into my new evening plans, rolling hippies, tweets and babies into exciting baby showers. The trend of three different activities rolled into one time frame seems to have captured my mind and days, yet I find myself whistling my way through, laughing more often than ever, and absorbing the love that seems to be flooding in around me.

First Post:

It is apple season and I am loving it. As much as the thought of winter around the corner sends chills down my spine on this 91 degree day, God was wonderful enough to include little glorious benefits between and throughout seasons to help us get through them. For me fall is all about apples, the amazing display of colors on the trees, and cool evenings (like cool enough to have a fire outside and not feel like you are roasting yourself.)

Emma - "Mom can you help me find an apple?"
Sam picked his designated number than proceeded in true Sam fashion to throw all the fallen apples as far as he could. Thankfully there were not a lot of people picking apples that particular afternoon.
Leah and Lauren
All the cousins making mad faces, well at least Leah did not let us down.

Post 2

So last night Ian came home from work and said that he wants to go vegetarian for a month. I almost want to rename my blog to; Meat lovers gone vegetarian for a month.... Will they survive and what will they eat?

But before I go into details of this new blog I would like to go back to that moment when I realized that my darling husband was serious. First why would my meat and potato man want to remove one of his two basic food supplies from his diet? Well apparently it is a challenge, Ian feels that he enjoys food too much and wants to spend a month removing the main source of his enjoyment so that he can focus on higher or more spiritual matters. My response was well if that is the case than why don't we remove red meat and beer from our diet, and I should have added tobasco sauce just to make it really hard.

He quickly responded with, "ok you don't eat red meat and beer for a month and I will go vegetarian"

Wait a minute at what point did I get roped in on this challenge?

Then Ian with all serious looks at me and asks, "Can you go without beer for a month?"

"Oh sure I can, as long as we have wine."

So here we go again.... after a night and morning of thinking about it I really want to embrace this challenge. I think that it will be a lot of fun and boost my confidence in the kitchen along with opening new recipes to my rather meat and potato mind. So tonight on our first night of this quest we are having black beans and corn enchiladas. They actually look really good. And I think that for the following month I am going to try and post the ventures of our meat loving family on this vegetarian journey.

And finally post 3

Well this one is really just the usually cute ramblings of the kids.

We just got home from Sam's teacher-parent meeting and I want to scream it from my roof top, SAM IS DOING GREAT IN SCHOOL. His teacher said after the first week of Sam testing her, he has not given her any problems and is not only getting A's in his academics but is also getting A's in his behavior. Melt my heart happy.

I don't know if it is me or Leah or a combination of the both of us. Me, embracing the changes in her and not crying so much over the fact that my first baby is beginning to intertwine her childish self with areas of adulthood. Or Leah growing out of her childish self and childish ways and finding more areas of camaraderie with her crazy mother. Or the combination of them both but Leah and I are becoming good friends (there was a faze that I really felt that she did not like me.) I love it and want to enjoy it and cling to it as long as possible, preferably the rest of my life.

And then Emma who makes statements like, "I already told you tomorrow" and "Do mermaids wear underwear?" She is keeping my days busy and exciting and oh so colorful. She is daily getting smarter with her arguments and right now if anything is misplaced or askew than it is never her fault but a ghost came through. When asked who spilled the water, or who made this mess or who played with the blocks and did not put them away, Emma quickly and with all conviction answers, "oh a ghost was just here and did all of that, I don't think that he is coming back to pick it up so can you?"

Another thing that she is doing and cracks me up is acknowledging every American flag that she sees. So while driving or watching tv whenever she sees an American flag she will exclaim "American Flag" and if there are a few American flags than that means they are American. But what really cracks me up is that she will interject "American Flag" in the middle of any sentence that is coming out of her mouth at the moment of seeing the flag. So it is not uncommon to be driving along to the following conversation;

And Daddy is at work and then he American Flag is going to come home and we are going to eat dinner and I am going to show American Flag him my homework. And he is going to say, "good job Emma" and then I want to American Flag watch a movie.

I just did not want to wake up.....

2010-09-20T10:59:00.000-07:00

I just did not want to wake up this morning. I was having a dream with Safta, not of Safta, but with her. I have never had a dream like this and it will always remain so precious to me. In my dream we were together, there was unity and I was soaking in the feel of her presence with me once again. Nothing spectacular happened other than we were together and then she got in line with a bunch of other girls and said, "you can't come with me cause I am going to get fitted for my dress" Her eyes were overflowing with love, as she would remain in her spot in line, yet turning to smile at me, as I stood on the sideline wanting to go with her. Then again she said, "you can't go with me" and just like that she entered through the doors to a room full of glorious gowns and out of my site.

After all this time and through all those countless times a day when I miss her, longing just to feel close to her again. To have a dream like this one, rekindled my heart and made me so grateful for those moments of being close to Safta. Despite her having gone through the doors I did not want to wake up. I wanted to stay rooted in my spot on the sideline hoping to catch another look of those loving eyes. Yet in that in-between state of a dream and wakefulness I knew that I had just been given a gift of time with Safta and now I get to wake up and appreciate my gift of time with my kids before they head off to school.

Love is precious and has a remarkable manner of overflowing ones heart and making life amazing and beautiful. So this morning as I am crazy happy with love, Sam, feeding off of my energy, starts to act all sorts of crazy. "Sam why are you acting so crazy? I really hope that you can calm down before you get to school or you will change colors for bad behavior." Sam quickly responded with a double jump and twist, a full smile on his face and energy bursting through every word, "Oh I just act crazy at home before I go to school so that I get all the crazy out of my system and don't change colors at school."

Then Emma who is all into anatomy at the moment starts in on her system and continues talking about her system the whole ride home.

"Did you know that there is blood in your leg and a bone in your knee?"

"Good to know Emma, thanks for the information"

"And did you know that there are bones in your head?"

"Yes but what else is in your head?"

"Um, I don't know, maybe like blood, or something. My brain is in my booty today"

"Oh ok well what is in your chest?"

"Oh my chest bones and my heart is in my chest and my stomach is in my tummy, but where is Jesus?"

"Well Jesus would be in your heart"

"Thats right, Jesus is in my chest with my chest bones"

Yeah and it just keeps going and going. The body is so fascinating and even more fascinating when your brain is in your booty today and your three years old giving your mom an anatomy lesson.

Well I am off to do some more housework cause there comes such great satisfaction from an endless job like housework.

Grannie, Monterey, and the beach = one great weekend

2010-09-07T12:20:00.000-07:00

We finally did it. Three years in the making, Ian and I were brave enough to make the drive up, with the kids, to visit Grannie in Sunnyvale. It was so good to see her and introduce the kids to her. The kids did great and for the most part minded their manners.

We stayed at a hotel in San Jose and thanks to priceline we got located right next to a theme park and of course our window overlooked the rides. We were not there for more than five min when all three kids were at the window, "Is that Magic Mountain?" "Can we go there?" "Can we just go for one ride?" Thankfully they were happy to settle for the pool and the thrill of going to an aquarium the next day, oh and of course the elevator compensated for a lot.

The following morning we headed out for the drive to Monterey and were thrilled to be walking through Cannery Row on our way to the aquarium. Of course there were a few places that Ian and I would have loved to have gone into, but a little three year old hand has a way of keeping you from walking right into those enticing brewery doors.

And there were a few stores that the kids wanted to go into but a thirty year old hand does just as well from keeping them from walking right into those ever enticing candy store doors.

And of course we could not pass by Forrest Gumps shoes.....

Yeah we made it to the aquarium.

We got the aquarium minutes after it opened and for about twenty minutes we had all the glass view that we wanted. (It was labor day weekend and the last weekend before school started so you can only imagine how crowded it got)
Sam loved the shark that kept swimming by to see if he could eat Sam or not. Of course Emma was scared of the shark and did not want to be anywhere near its vicinity.
Sam loved all the hands on activities and touching a sting ray was one of his favorite hands on activity there.
Leah thought it was great as well, well once she knew that they had removed the sting ray.
My little goober of a pearl.
Emma was thrilled to see sea horses. She was a bit overwhelmed with all these live animals and all the people but every so often she would ignore everything and become thrilled of the sight of a real sea horse, "that was for real."
A little peep hole to watch the penguins.
The jelly fish were way cool. I could have stayed there and watched them for hours.
Emma loved this tank with all the pretty colorful fish. She got to name all the colors of the rainbow. A little oriental girl of about 2 years old decided to try and be Emma's friend at this tank. At first Emma tried to ignore her but than just bluntly told her non-English-speaking shadow that she is working very hard to see all the rainbow fish. The little girl just smiled at her and said something in Chinese, to which Emma turned and looked at me with shock in her eyes, "I think she is from Kai-Lan"

My little hand pictures. Love those hands
After our tiring but thrilling day at the aquarium we headed to Susie's apartment to spend the night and scare all her cats and reptiles into hiding. The following morning we headed to the beach before our drive home. Ian found some cool seaweed and tried to have Leah jump rope with it.
Then found that it was a lot more fun to whip the kids instead.
We got Sam half buried (yes he is standing up) but then thought it would take to long and there were too many witnesses to finish the job.
Emma loves her daddy. Through out the weekend mommy was just a ghost of a being as there was only daddy in her eyes.
Thanks Susie we even got a picture of this cute couple. After every family trip I always feel like I want to go for a weekend away, with my husband, just to spend time with him (kids are a little demanding) I just keep telling myself that for everything there is a season.
And finally it was time to pack up and start our long drive home. Great weekend, great family time, and some amazing great memories.
A couple quotes;

"You're horrible sitting in the middle" - Sam

"You know I can't do anything when I'm holding a spicy chicken sandwich" - Leah

"What's perfect?" - Sam when playing apple to apples

Not as bad as some, not as good as I should be....

2010-09-03T12:54:00.001-07:00

I know it has been too long since my last post but to justify myself, I am not as bad as others. :) The kids are back into their school routine, we had back to school night last night and met Leah's teacher for the first time. She reminds me of Mrs. Frizz but without the magic school bus. Leah is terrified of her and was in tears one morning cause she could not find her homework book (which she had left at school due to no homework) she was so scared of facing her teacher without this book that she did not want to go to school. Nothing like fear to motivate a child into being responsible.

Sam tested his teacher the first day at school. She was going over the behavior chart and said that with each consequence for bad behavior you have to change a color. Well Sam pointed to the very bottom of the behavior chart and said, "I want to see what happens when you get down there." His teacher smartly told him to change colors and since then Sam has been great at school and not changed colors. He is even known as the class's biggest helper.

Emma and I are onto daily discussing super powers, and daily we argue the world-renown fact that mommies have more super-powers than daddies. With each argument I have to tell myself that she is only three and a complete daddy's girl so not to take it personally. One day she will acknowledge the truth, that mommies have more super-powers than daddies (not to undermine all the great super-powers daddies have but mommies are way better)

Sam had his first soccer game last Saturday and it was so awesome to watch him. All four of my brothers are amazing soccer players and due to his bloodline there were some unspoken expectations on Sam. Well he did not let me down in the slightest. In fact I was awestruck with his ability and insight into the game. He was the best player on his team and always seemed to know where to be on the field.

For the first half of the game Sam would slide into the player/ball whenever he had reached them. So at half time we encouraged Sam to actually stay on his feet and how much more beneficial to the team if he would keep up with the game instead of sliding all the time.
Of course Sam would always want to be the one to throw the ball in. He was all over the field and involved with every play so it was not hard for him to be the first kid to grab the ball if it went out of bounds.
Yeah so this is Sam the entire game. He wore a grin the WHOLE time. Running up and down the field all you would see is that glorious smile of his.
Well we are heading out of town for the weekend and I have so much to do on top of not feeling so great (all week.) If I had to summarize this week into a title it would be, My right of passage to being crazy. Its really just all those thoughts that go in circles around my head, the unclean-able house, the someone pulled the plug and drained my energy, body, and that other little thing called life and responsibilities. But all in all I am looking forward to this weekend, some fun family time, funny adventures, and who knows what else..... unicorns, rainbows, and all things pretty and magical. (I think I need to stop hanging out with Emma so much, she is really influencing my thought process)

tomorrow

2010-08-26T18:59:00.000-07:00

Well tomorrow is our fourth anniversary... Yeah for us. We decided tonight to not get gifts for each other until it is our 25th anniversary but Ian's mom offered for the kids to spend the night at her house tomorrow so we just got the best gift a married couple with young children can get..... an undisturbed sleep-in. We have been going through a couples book which is bringing us closer and leaving us in stitches of laughter. What we have learned so far is that it is important that we touch once a day and laugh together once a day. Well Ian does not like to be touched during the summer (it's too hot for human contact) and I do not like to be touched during the winter (it's too cold for human contact) so it looks like we have a couple months in-between our no touch zones to show affection to each other. And then we are onto laughing together everyday. We verbally acknowledged that we have two very different funny bones in totally different locations but at least we both have healthy funny bones so if nothing else we can laugh at each other and ourselves.

Speaking of laughter, yeah so the kids are back at school and each and every day it is me and Emma. Nothing like a three year old to dictate how you spend your time and energy. So through Emma's encouragement we had a great birthday party for Hawthorne and his sister Anie. Streamers, balloons, and lots of doggy treats (non that made it to actual party time) but what had me shaking my head and laughing at myself was the homemade dog cake I made for the dogs. Thanks Emma, totally went out of my zone and laughed so much doing it.

One day we spent the entire day (and I am not kidding when I say entire day) placing and replacing fabrics all over the living room so that Emma could have a stage to dance like a princess. She even used some of the fabric to make a princess dress that covered, well it covered all the major parts.
Love her little cheeks hanging out. We were queens, princess, dolphins, unicorns, sea horses, and all things pretty. She asked me to put on princess music and after going through a lot of the music channels on tv and Emma getting frustrated with me I finally put on classical music only to see her face light up as she exclaimed, "See mom I told you you have princess music"

Once Leah returned from school she quickly and daintily joined in on the ballet act.
She might be in fourth grade but there is this little three year old princess in her that was dancing around the room with a beautiful smile on her face.
Yeah so did I mention that Emma and I spend all day together. Today we went to the park and just cause we could, we spent at least 45 min blowing bubbles. Hey you know when I was a girl that was always my dream..... when I grow up I just want to go to the park and blow bubbles for a hour surrounded by all the super high teens that are ditching school. I love how dreams come true.

Ok I don't know why other than it is a really cool shot but I love this picture. I was blowing the bubbles and she was popping them all so I held the camera in one hand and not knowing what I was taking a picture of just clicked. I think that sometimes those are the best pictures, well unless you are my size in a crowd, then you just get the shots of the back of peoples backs.
So Emma came up to me holding all four aces and asked if I would play war with her, I could even have all the rest of the cards.

So apparently since Sam does not have homework this week we still have to come up with some activities. This is what I walked out to after dinner. Can we say bath-time.
I could never express in words how happy my heart gets when I see that the man I love, my best friend is one of the most amazing dads I have ever seen.
Happy Anniversary hunny, Love you, love how you hold us all, love us all and take care of us all. You will always be my best friend and call me crazy but it seems like with each year of marriage we are getting closer, learning and falling deeper into love. I appreciate you, even if your funny bone is in the wrong place. Love to be close to you, even if we only hug through out fall and spring. Love how you tolerate me and vise-versa... we make a great team which comes in handy since for the most part of our time together it seems like it is us vs. the kids. Love you

It's ok when they are 3, maybe not when they are 23

2010-08-23T12:10:00.000-07:00

Emma has entered the most entertaining stage of imagination. No matter where we are or what we are doing she is ready to become magical and enthralled in a world of make-believe. The numerous conversations we have through out the day tickles my heart and sends my face into the biggest of grins. Yet as I try to remember and share the stories of the day with Ian the entertaining thought struck me that these conversations are adorable with a three year old but would be seriously concerning with a twenty-three year old.

For example,

A three year old informing everyone that she wants to be a rainbow, sparkle unicorn when she grows up. -adorable

A twenty-three year old telling everyone that she wants to be a rainbow, sparkle unicorn when she grows up- seriously concerning and someone needs to hide the magic mushrooms
A three year old asking if you want to be a queen and she will be your princess -adorable

A twenty-three year old asking if you want to be a queen and she will be your princess - seriously concerning A three year old climbing all over you to whisper in your ear all the secrets the wind is telling her- adorable

A twenty-three year old climbing all over you to whisper in your ear all the secrets the wind is telling her- seriously concerning
Along with conversations, Three year old, "What is your husbands name?"

"My husband's name is Ian Newkirk. Do you have a husband?"

Three year old, "No"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Three year old, "No"

*Silence*

Three year old, "You did not ask if I have a girlfriend"

Ummmm ok as a three year old, not really as ok as a twenty-three year old.

With hesitation, "Do you have a girlfriend?"

Three year old, "No" *sigh of relief*
And of course the statements,

"I don't think that I am going to have a big wee wee like daddy" -funny from a three year old, not so funny from a twenty-three year old

"Can I get on the table and shake my bootie" -funny from a three year old, not so funny from a twenty-three year old
"I think that that man is a troll or a monster" -funny from a three year old, not so funny from a twenty-three year old

"I don't like wearing underwear" - funny from a three year old, not so funny from a twenty-three year old (well if she is your daughter)
And then of course there are the numerous statements that I had better hear from her no matter if she is three, twenty-three, or a hundred and three.

"I like the roads that tickles my belly"

"This is going to be the bestest day ever"

"Lets dance"

"They are all my favorites and I love everyone"

"Can you hug me?"

"I like making everything prettier"

"I love you"

Something out of Almost Famous

2010-08-19T09:27:00.000-07:00

Wow what can I say but last night seemed to be right out of the movie Almost Famous.

It all started with two girls who love music and share their love for music. Both girls were way past the stage or age of being a groupie (a person, esp. a young woman, who regularly follows a pop music group or other celebrity in the hope of meeting or getting to know them.) but within their hearts there is always a groupie longing to get out. One of their common favorite artists was a man straight from the land of Down Under, a man with musical talent and an encouraging message of respect for the earth and people. Oh the thrill to find out that he was going to be playing in LA. Well long story short, he was going to be playing on Bill and Betty's 33rd anniversary and despite my encouragement Betty resigned herself to not buy the tickets but instead entered a contest on facebook to get two free tickets. SHE WON!!!! What a great anniversary present!!! Then Bill had to go to Japan for a family emergency and Betty asked if I would be her date, on her anniversary, to see Xavier Rudd. Huge massive smiles followed by some contact via facebook with Xavier Rudd daily making him more personal and filling our heads with all kinds of great grandeur of meeting him and him calling Betty on stage and so on and so forth. You know mental groupie stuff.

Well we get to the Greek Theater and squealed like little girls when Betty received her two free tickets, asking the man behind the counter if there was a personal note from Xavier Rudd with the tickets. Oh no note well than he must be waiting to call Betty up on the stage. :)
As we were walking into the venue heading straight to the bathrooms before we went to find our seats, we heard what sounded like Xavier Rudd playing. He was on the stage, the concert had started!!! We quickly forgot the need for the bathrooms, stood in the aisle and than randomly picked a seat in the half empty venue. Thrilled to be hearing Rudd live we were quickly full of screams and dancing moves. With each new unrestrained screech of delight from myself, the older lady in front of me who remained seated with her arms crossed, would turn her head to roll her eyes at me. I quickly realized that outside of Betty, myself and half a dozen others no one seemed to be into Rudd or his music. Oh well, we loved it, moved more than 5 feet away from the older lady's ears and were thrilled as Rudd played three songs than waved to the crowd and walked off the stage. Oh he must be having a break, quick lets go to the bathroom, see if Betty could give Rudd a hat I made and a hug, then quickly come back.
Well we got back to find that all of Rudd's instruments were gone from the stage, the venue was filling up fast and we had no clue what was going on. Is Rudd coming back? Who is playing now? Lo and behold Rudd was just the opening act for the main show. It was in that moment that we finally looked at our tickets and did not see Rudd's name on them at all but Rodrigo and Gabriela, an amazing couple that took our breath away with their guitar skills but is Rudd coming back? We sat through and enjoyed the magical music waiting to see if Rudd was coming back on stage and making a few journeys to the backstage door to ask once again if they know where Rudd is. Has he left and is there a chance to meet him? Betty has to give him a hug!!! The show ended and the security guards, who at this point knew our whole story, said we could stand next to the backstage door to see if Rudd was going to the lounge after the show. We waited and waited as the throng of people left. With few remaining people and no sign of Rudd we decided that we should be getting going as well with happy hearts that were slightly disheartened that we did not get to meet Rudd and thank him for the tickets. Out the venue we go and onto the street where a tour bus is parked in the road.

Is that Rudd and his band standing right in front of the bus?!? Holy smokes with a much quicker gait in our steps we quickly make our way over to the crowd of less than a dozen people. Walking right up to Rudd I quickly asked, "Did you get the hat from us?" We had given it to the security guard at the backstage door who said he would give it to the manager. We proceeded to talk to him and the other band members who all were drink happy. We were hanging out with the band!!!!:) After informing Rudd that we had come to see him at the Greek Theater and were shocked that he was not the main show, he told us to go talk to the lady with the long hair who was standing next to the bus' open door. Over we go and talked for a while to the sober Rudd manager. She was very nice and we thanked her for the free tickets. Returned to the tipsy band and gave them each a hug, got our pictures and thanked them again for their music. We could have easily hung out with the band for much longer but did not want to appear as complete groupies so walked 15 feet up the road and watched the band to make sure that Rudd got into the bus safely.
What an amazing night!!!! I felt like we could have been in a new version of Almost Famous about an artist that is almost famous. Keep up the great music Rudd and thanks for hanging out with a couple girls that will be your groupies-from-a-distance for a long time to come.

Back to School

2010-08-18T10:58:00.000-07:00

Well yesterday I had an almost completed post of my complete unbelief that summer is done and school is starting and between one of my runs to check on dinner lo and behold no more post. So without all the ramblings of a mother, who loves summer time and is heart broken that it is over for the year, we are right into the school year. Leah entered fourth grade and Sam entered second grade and my heart wanted to turn them back onto little two year olds again.... just for a quick hug. I had more butterflies in my stomach than they did. Their description of how they felt this morning was, Sam is just excited and Leah is nervous excited (she just hopes she remembers everyone's names)

She would visibly entertain her mental fears for a moment and in the next the thrill of seeing her old friends again would awaken that adorable, funny, and confident girl within.
Leah has been growing up before my eyes (and I live with her.) Something has awakened in her little mind and I see her longing for more responsibility. She longs to be entrusted with more independence and seems to understand that this treasure that she seeks must be earned. This stage she is entering is both breath-taking and beautiful. I love to see her eyes sparkle with each new piece of treasure that she has earned. Confidence bound in joy overflows her little soul. I can't wait to hear of her ventures through fourth grade, friendships, and herself.
And then there is Sam who really, truly, honestly did not understand what his mother was going on about whenever she showed emotions about him entering second grade. He is such a boy.
He just semi-patiently waited for me to do my job and drive him to school already.
"The only hard part of going back to school is waiting for you to take me there" - Sam
You can't say that I did not warn them. Actually his teacher this year has 1 year old twins so my comment to Ian last night was, "I just hope a summer with 1 year old twins has helped ready Sam's teacher for the school year with him."
And then our sweet Emma who so desperately wanted to go to school too. We packed her lunch box and got her backpack already, she did not want to miss out on anything that she did not have to. Dropped the kids off, went to the store and less than an hour after dropping the kids off she said, "Mom it's time to go pick up the kids now."
My yearly I insist picture. They keep growing on me, they could hardly sit next to each other on the step this year.
And there they go..... Love these kids, so proud of them and so excited to see what this next school year holds.

The secret superpowers of lucky charms

2010-08-13T09:46:00.000-07:00

Emma's favorite cereal is lucky charms and until this morning I always thought that it was the thrill of eating marshmallows in your cereal. Boy was I wrong. This morning admits the joyous jumping up and down, as I poured her cereal, she kept exclaiming with an urgent authoritative voice, "I need all the powerful marshmallows, don't forget the heart one cause that one is most important." A little curious about these new exclaimed powerful marshmallows and always ready to go on a non-chemical induced trip with my three year old, I was all too eager to ask a few more questions.

Wow what a trip those questions led us on.

The heart marshmallow gives you superpowers that make you so strong you can pick up a log and throw it to outer-space.

The rainbow marshmallow lets you fly and kill. Kill?? Oh only dragons and monsters

The moon marshmallow lets you put people to sleep if they won't let you play cards with them (Sam)

The balloon marshmallow gives you the superpower to break out of fences so no one can keep you locked up in a yardThe shoe-horse marshmallow gives you the powers to break glass so if you want to fly to outer-space than just break glass and fly away.

Emma ended this lengthy yet interesting conversation with, "When I eat all my marshmallows than I am a super power girl."

So far I have only seen her super power to screech and be adorable. She followed her morning conversation with, "Mom where are we going today?" "I don't know Emma, we don't really need anything from the stores." "Come on mom, just tell me, just tell me where we are going today."

Just keep going....

2010-08-09T08:48:00.001-07:00

The most amazing thing about kids is that they will just keep going. Nothing in their wiring tells them to chill out when they are tired, or just relax when it is down time. Thankfully this strange wiring had Emma walking all the way to Heart Lake and back (about 3 miles) and all the way around Rock Creek Lake (about 2 miles.) Unfortunately this strange wiring also had Sam spent by the second day we were there and therefore a wreck the rest of the time. He still did not miss out on anything and as long as someone was willing to play cards he would sit down for periods of time.

The whole gang this year. Aiden, keeping to tradition, did not want to be in the group picture but you can make out his hat behind the post.
The sign reads, beauty around every corner. The trail runs semi parallel to the river which runs from one small lake to the next. The first lake is Marsh Lake and then Heart Lake which is as far as we made it with the kids this year, except for Sam who went all the way to Long Lake and then proceeded to melt on the hike back. For me the lakes go according, first snack lake, then beach/play lake, then beauty lake with maybe some frogs, then throw in some rocks lake.
Aiden, Leah, and Emma enjoying the view. Leah carried the camel-back this year and was very patient with Aiden and Emma who were thirsty VERY often.
Sam loved wading in freezing water and then discovered a great game of being the troll under the bridge and scaring the hikers that were passing over. Thankfully most people had their sense of humor in check and would keep walking on with a chuckle at this cute, freckled face troll.
Leah is my little mountain goat and so is Emma for that fact, so which ever rock Leah had climbed up Emma was soon to follow.
My three little bumps on a log.
Peace out Emma. She loved this bridge and once over the fear of a troll living underneath it claimed it as her own.
The kids seeing if a troll lives underneath the bridge and then many games of stick racing. I think Emma was the champion.
Along the walk there are many areas to sit down and admire the beautiful world that we are walking in.
On the trek down Emma would occasionally loose steam so I would hold her hand and with every step announce if it was a little step or a big step over a rocks. The flow of words went, little, little, little, little, BIIIIIg, lit, lit, lit Bbbbig, little, little, Bib, BIG, BIGGGG. We must have been caught up in our sing, songy stroll for about 10 min when I glanced behind me, on the narrow path, only to find to my horror a man trailing closely behind us. Immediately stopping and pulling Emma to the side I said, "So sorry, hope you were stuck behind us too long" to which he replied, "It's ok I liked the rhythm"
Love this hike, love the kids enthusiasm to see what is around the corner and to get to the next lake. Love the breath taking beauty, fresh air, and above all the stroll of little and big steps.

Fishing and fresh trout

2010-08-06T12:52:00.001-07:00

Emma - "Your the best bathing suit putter oner in the world and Dad is the best dinner maker"

Not the best of compliments considering I make dinner Mon-Fri but I will take them as they come. Actually Ian is a much better cook than I am and one of the favorite parts of camping is eating freshly caught trout.

Ian brought his fly fishing pole this year and managed to catch a few fish but we ended keeping and eating three of the fish he caught this year.

Aiden was not too sure if he really wanted to hold the squirming fish that Ian had just caught.
Grandma watched over Leah and Sam as they sat on OUR rock fishing. Actually the stream had just been stocked a couple hours earlier and there was a beautiful trout just beneath Leah who despite her patience and efforts was just not hungry. It finally swam away after Sam went into the water with a net.
I just loved watching Ian fly fish. If I had not had three little distractions I could have silently followed him around and watched this beautiful art of his. The bright lime green line was also fun to watch.
Ian would switch between his fly line and his regular pole depending on location or just to pass the time.
I love this picture of Ian and am glad that he was wearing such a bright orange shirt. The water is freezing and he would stand out there with numb feet casting and re-casting his line.
This is the one fish that Sam caught and my how evident his pride is and the pride written on his sisters' faces.

The girls loved to fish as well. After the second day Leah learned via Emma that if there is no hook on your line then it can not get caught on you or anything else. So off went Leah's hook and despite their lack of actual fish catching the girls had a blast casting and reeling in their lines.

Ok Susie I see you behind the kids and there are a couple things that I would like to talk to you about.

First, Leah said that you told her that horse taste really good.

Yeah thanks for that one, the other night Leah had a bad dream, she finally got a horse for herself and she got to ride it every day and then one morning she woke up and her horse was gone cause everyone ate it. Sob Sob And then everyone told her that her horse was the best tasting horse ever. Sob Sob "I just wish that people did not eat my favorite animal in the world"

Second, another Leah one but it resulted in a huge argument between Leah and Sam. Apprently you said that pigs are the smartest animals in world. Well this argument went on for a long time about which animal is the smartest animal in the world and it finally ended with Sam saying, "I am an animal and I eat pig for breakfast and sometimes for dinner, So I am smarter than pig"

There were a couple other Susie inspired conversations but the kids are at it again aka my time is up on the computer.

It was great camping with you Susie and I was so glad that you got to come.

Leah asked me this morning if spiders poop. Good question Leah and I imagine so but am going to have to look that one up.

Smores

2010-08-05T10:30:00.001-07:00

A couple days ago Sam was sitting on the couch picking at his sun burnt nose and exclaimed, "I think my freckles are coming off"

It is funny how the process of making smores really defines each child.

Leah will burn and consume as many marshmallows and smores as permitted. I think that she will literally burn them quickly just so that she can consume it and move onto the next one before her mother has time to take inventory.

With Sam it is the joy of having permission to play with fire. He is actually the one who takes on the challenge of perfectly toasting a marshmallow. If at any point the marshmallow does happen to become blackened Sam willingly lets it burn to the fire gods and moves onto his next gooey mess. More often than not Sam will not finish an entire smore and will eagerly roast a marshmallow for anyone as long as he can continue playing with the fire.

And then there is Emma who will quickly burn her marshmallow, consume her smore and spend the rest of the evening happily watching everyone else burn marshmallow after marshmallow.

Leah quickly putting out the mini fire atop her marshmallow only to move onto the next one.
My little lady will close her eyes, open wide her mouth, absorbing every last flavor of chocolate, graham cracker and blackened, crispy, gooey marshmallow. Bliss just sheer bliss, oh and pinky in the air.
Meanwhile there is Sam who is completely entranced by the flames of the fire that eating his smore is a mindless consumption and then onto that perfect spot he had been eyeing to brown his next marshmallow.
Apparently there is even an art in the charcoal form of marshmallows.
And then there is Sam who defines the goodness of his marshmallow by the melted middle that oozes it's goo over the entire graham cracker.
Emma will eat them either way and is very happy just to cook and blow out her very own marshmallow.

Love this picture of the flowers.
Well I think I got a post in and now Emma is wrapped around my neck and informing me that my time is up and it is her turn now so this will have to do.

Oh and if you have freckles I sure hope that they are not coming off like Sam's.

Our yearly camping trip part 1

2010-08-04T19:52:00.000-07:00

FYI this is a long post :)

I know, I know too much time has elapsed since I have last blogged and to top it off we have been home for five days since our week long camping trip and I have still not posted any pictures. You could fire me or you could accept my lame excuses and then just enjoy my post.

Excuse #1, Laundry, now to most people laundry is not a plausible excuse but the reason that laundry has kept me from blogging is primarily due to the fact that our computer is in our room and so is our bed, which happens to be the place I dump load after load of laundry waiting to be folded and put away. So despite the numerous times I have come into our room to quickly post a few pictures I was quickly met by a mountain of laundry and thus succumbed to folding little white undies over losing myself to the glorious, relaxing stream of words and pics.

Excuse #2 The kids, I know it must be shocking to see them used as an excuse for something that I love to do by myself but sure as day, me at the computer is an open invitation for them to either want my attention or want the coveted key board themselves. And of course my children being the little delights that they are, they would just feel awful passing an invitation by without at least succeeding on making their mother lose all concentration.

Excuse #3 And this one is the killer but I posted pics on facebook and somehow seem justified in that lame spurt of sharing with society the joys that we had over the week of camping.

I suppose I could go on and on about excuses since I happen to hear enough through out the day to stop a oil leak (all pun intended) but enough of that and now onto our glorious once a year, family vacation camping week.

Words fail to capture what our yearly camping trip means to me. The best way that I can describe it is that my soul is fed. You know that most inner part of your very own unique being, that part of you that is entirely your own. Well that is the glorious part of me that gets fed. Being with my family outdoors, building on our family ties, enjoying the beauty, absorbing in all those seconds that nourish my soul and make me a happy wife, mama, and Rachel. Oh to live without the pressing stresses and demands of life.... that is camping.

We arrived by 10:30 and once again got one of our two beloved campsites at Iris Meadow. Sunday we had the whole day and lightning stricken night as a family. I did not sleep the whole night waiting for the kids to wake up due to the storms but oh no, when asked in the morning through my sleepy eyes and weary body, they had slept right through it and were ready for a busy filled day despite my sleepy mind frame. Grandpa, grandma, and Aiden arrived Monday afternoon and Susie in the evening. On Tuesday we went for our hike up to the little lakes and on Wednesday a great day around camp and then Grandpa, Grandma, and Aiden headed off home. Thursday we spent the day at Rock Creek Lake and actually hiked around the whole thing and then Josh and his girl, Violeta came just in time for dinner. Friday Susie headed home and I got to go hiking just with grown-ups which was a delightful, new experience for me, more time around the lake and then a relaxing evening at camp. Saturday was the day that we packed up and were getting excited about taking a shower and sleeping in our bed which is actually twice the size as our tent. Yep so there is our week in a nut-shell. Now onto pictures

There are just too many pictures to choose from so I am going to start with our first day there and blog on as necessary.

As I said the first night was full of amazing thunder storms which found us eating cup of noodle (camping necessity) in the car. Hawthorne included. :)

Of course Sam had to see if anything was biting. Like min after we got there. He did catch one fish but according to him had caught like 15 but did not think we could eat all of them so let them go.
Leah loves fishing too as long as someone is there to defuse all frustration over a tangled line or caught hook moments before the awful tragedy occurs.
The boys were great at standing by and giving the girls cues on what to do and where to cast their hook-less lines.
Emma took it all seriously, well if Dad takes it serious than it must be something good. By the end of the week she must have spent a good 20+ hours practicing casting her line and was really getting awesome at it.
Thank you Betty for Mama Bears gift. She loved it and growled less and at one point even had a cat nap on it.
Emma was the only one of the kids who helped set up camp. She was not going to miss out on anything and was a great help holding and handing Daddy the tent stakes one at a time.
Love this girl and loved how her mp3 player was more often in her ears as she belched out her latest favorite song.
This is my family who I love with every once of my being. I cherish each one of them and everyday they amaze me with their hearts.

Yay we are at Rock Creek!!!!

The word beautiful was created here and with 3 kids, a hard working husband and the demands of responsibility, this place is our family haven and I am daily thankful that we have beautiful to return to every year.

Ok I promise more tomorrow, less words and more pics but done with excuses and now onto placing these beloved memories onto paper or screen as the case may be.

Oh and Emma told me to use my imagination today so I am going to take her advise and leave reality with her more often through out the day. Highly recommend it. :)

I HAVE A TEN YEAR OLD!!!!

2010-07-24T18:38:00.001-07:00

OK I am going to make this blog quick due to the wonderful fact that we are going camping tomorrow and I am already exhausted with so much still to do.

My oldest child said goodbye to her single digits forever yesterday. On her forever last day of being nine I was a complete sap. As eager as Leah was to be turning ten there followed an equal amount of sorrow in me to see my baby entering double digits.

She is such a goober with an amazing smile and an even more amazing heart.

For her birthday she wanted to go to Rollerama with a friend. I loved seeing her enjoy her day of being the center of attention. Sam was not as good at roller skating and would often be found taking a break in the middle of the rink.

Leah's Favorites while she was nine

color- blue

game - old maid

food- fish and chips

clothes - my pink wollen shirt and black pants and pink hat

animal - horses

book - my big horse book

memory - when I got an A++ on my animal report

And finally when I am 10 I can have more responsibilities.

And since Leah herself wanted more responsibilities we got Leah a half decent camera for her birthday, explaining now that she is ten we can trust her to take care of her items. That evening after a complete sugar high and chasing her two friends around the room to take their picture. Leah did something and her camera would not work any longer. Ian and I were in our room trying to get it to work again and I overheard Leah in tears to her friends, "This is the worst thing ever!!! My mom finally gave me something to be responsible with and I broke it on the first day. I am not ready to be 10 and have these kinds of responsibilities *sob sob* but I want a camera so much and I want my mom and dad to trust me with everything and here I am breaking it on the first day of trust." Oh the glorious emotions that come with being ten.

I love my, learning to be responsible, 10 year old. I am still so sad in my heart that she has left the single digits but am so thrilled to travel down this next lane of life with her, and maybe every so often we might just put our skates on and cruise for a while.

Summer storm

2010-07-19T09:54:00.001-07:00

As a stay at home mom of three I am constantly thrilled over anything that is out of the norm. So when we had a summer storm the other night I was bouncing around with excitement. It was amazing as from our porch we could witness a lightning storm on either side of our town. The sky was an array of beauty, filled with movement, color, and mood. I had just put Emma to bed when the storms really started to come alive.

The kids had found their superhero capes earlier that day and in the sepia tone evening they felt filled with magical powers.
Leah was the orchestrator of lightning and upon her rock she would determine when the lightening would strike.

The kids had me in laughter as we ran from the front to the back of the house. All the creatures of the woods were awakened by the lightening as well and we enjoyed the company of deer, and a couple owls, which Sam said was part of his magic show.
There is just something always magical about this world we live in putting on an evening show for you.
I do not want to jinks it but I am currently at home alone. All three kids went to vbs and for only 15 dollars for the week it looks like I have 9-12 to myself. Oh the things I can get done..... like write on my blog, get ready for camping, and take a few breaths without Emma asking to be held, Sam asking to play a game and Leah watching I Love Lucy at a deathening volume.

Where a kid can be a kid

2010-07-15T13:23:00.000-07:00

The much anticipated day of Grandma and Grandpa taking the kids to Chuck E Cheese has arrived. I don't know who was more excited me or the kids. Me for having five hours by myself or the kids for the never ceasing excitement of all that Chuck E Cheese has to offer. Either way our morning was filled with energy and smiles. Sam of course was up at the crack of dawn going through every crevice of our house to find coins and quarters. He was just walking around with a beam as he held up two Chuck E Cheese coins and three quarters.

Unable to refrain from his contagious anticipation I sarcastically asked him, "Sam how come you get so excited about going to Chuck E Cheese?" His response just tickled me to the core, "Cause at Chuck E Cheese a kid can be a kid, and I really like being able to be a kid every so often, its good for me."

Ok now anyone who knows Sam knows that Sam is a kid being a kid 24/7 in fact even in the moments when he should act more like an adult are the moments when the kid comes out of him in full force. I work so hard to have these few years of them being a kid filled with moments, days, months, and years of them being able to be a kid. Yet apparently it is good for Sam to be given these opportunities every so often to be a kid. So thank you Chuck E Cheese for completely undermining all that I do on the daily basis to let my kids be kids.

On another note it got me to thinking how come there isn't a place for parents to be adults. You know like, Chuck N Eves Where a parent can be a grown up.

Having children is like.....

2010-07-13T08:33:00.000-07:00

Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

No, that is not my quote but I read it this morning and thought how appropriate it seemed after yesterday. Oh yesterday, I am so glad that days like you come less frequently and I mentally cling to the thought that this bowling game must have an end.

Yesterday started the night before when we went to a potluck and got home hours after the kids bedtime, which as usual did not leave them to sleep in but they all got up at their usual times, leaving me with tired, grumpy children. All Day.

Lets see.... my kids tired in a nut shell. Leah - emotional, irritable, loud, and above all wants to be left ALONE. Sam - attention span of less than 30 seconds, ping pong ball of annoyance between his two sisters, worst listener of his mother in the world, defiant and a trouble maker. Emma- shrieker, screamer, crier, irritable, and moody.

Yeah so that was the foundation of my day yesterday and between trying to get some house cleaning done, laundry, and keeping the kids from ensuing major damage to each other. I felt like an early bed time was not early enough.

Moments before I called Ian's mom back to let her know that I think taking the kids to see Toy Story 3 was a great ideal. Sam had thrown a wooden rolling pin, for play-doe, which had hit Leah on the forehead. So she is on the couch with an ice pack on her forehead saying she can't think straight. Sam won't stay in his room for damaging his sister and is screaming/crying cause he just wants to say he is sorry to Leah. Emma has a spiky and a cactus in her foot and it hurts so much and wants to be held. And Leah thinks she can't think straight?!?!

It was one of those mother moments when you feel yourself removed from yourself and your entire being is in complete denial that three little beings whom you love with your entire self are falling apart around you, while they are all yelling at you, as if you have the magic wand to remove any and all tiredness, frustration, hurt, and defiance. So standing in the midst of their screams I grabbed the imaginary microphone (it magnifies my voice over theirs) and exclaimed, "Grandma just called and wants to go see Toy Story 3 today." Within moments Sam had taken a deep breath and with calm, controlled words said sorry to Leah. Leah sat up from her death bed and suddenly seemed to be able to think very clearly. Emma's pokey and cactus had disappeared from her foot and ran to find her shoes. And me well I just plopped down on the couch exhausted and said they all had to get along for the next hour if they really wanted to go.

Surprisingly they got along great and into the car we get. Emma still had some of her lunch of a corndog in her mouth and as I am backing down our driveway, looking behind me I glance at Emma's face to see that she is not breathing and has that desperate look in her eyes that she desperately wants to take a breath of air. Quickly get to the bottom of the drive get her out of her carseat, roughly place her stomach over my arm and watch as more hotdog than should of came out of her airway. She was ok but my heart is still going a million miles a min. Emma starts crying cause her dress is dirty with throw up. Reassure her that it is ok we will go up to the house and change her only to get back into the car to find Sam crying hysterically. Sam what is wrong with you? "That was scary, I didn't like it at all" OK DEEP BREATH!!!!

We finally get to the movies where I feel so wiped out I could have fallen asleep. the kids all did great and behaved, outside of Sam having brought his lego flashlight. Then home we went for a long afternoon with tired children. They did go to bed early but like I stated above it just was not early enough. Which leads me to this next quote I read this morning,
If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.

I have personally found this quote to work like a charm.

Ok now for something hysterical. You know that phrase, That's what she said, well Sam kinda took on his own phrase and it has me in stitches cause he kinda uses it in the same incidents. I don't know where it came from other than he is a 7 year old boy but he is responding to everything with, in your underwear. "You have nothing, You have nothing in your underwear" "You are mad? You are mad in your underwear" I am curious to see how long this one goes on for and how many times when he says it that it really catches. So far that crazy kid is on a roll and admits all the chaos still has me laughing.

Oh the things they say

2010-07-09T08:34:00.000-07:00

This week has been a lazy week or maybe I have just been feeling lazy this week but either way the week has passed and we are quickly approaching Leah's 10th birthday and our camping trip. There is a huge part of me that does not want to acknowledge that my oldest child is shortly forever going to be leaving single digits and turning 10. 1. I do not feel old enough to have a ten year old daughter, 2. double digits is kinda for life and turning 10 seems to be the gateway of leaving childhood and entering tweenhood, teenhood, and all that is to come. I don't remember any of my birthdays growing up but I do remember when my older sister Yudi turned ten and how it was such a big deal (thanks to Marc and Safta.) I suppose due to that memory I have all kinds of butterflies in my stomach for my little baby girl who is quickly approaching the birthday that is such a big deal. Well Mama ready or not....

And camping oh I can't wait. All year and every year I can't wait to be camping with my family. I think of, dream of, and fantasize of the glorious days when we are camping. I am so excited.

Ok well onto the things they say,

Emma- "I love how you can eat broccoli one at a time."

Leah - "You don't know how hard it is to be a 9 year old these days"

Sam- "Are humans going extinct?"

Sam has been captivated about entire animal species going extinct. He is constantly asking which animals have gone extinct and which animals are going extinct, but when he asked me about the humans, well once again his little mind is at work.

Emma - "I don't want to get married"

Mom- "why not hunny?"

Emma- "I'm too small"

Mom - "Well how about when you are bigger?"

Emma - "No I am good"

Emma- "In our new house Grandma came over and I showed her how to eat one by one by one at a time"

While Emma and I were playing GUESS WHO, with only one last man still up she asked me, "Does he have lips?" I am thinking that being able to read and guess who my man is might come in handy otherwise she plays the game great.

Sam having a conversation with himself.

"So the lizard jumped out of my hand and then it jumped onto the car's tire and if mom had started driving then the lizard would have gone around and around until it was so dizzy that it would have fallen off. But when it's head stopped spinning it would have looked around and said, I don't know where I am but at least I got away from that dog and that human."

Sam- "Hawthorne and I like to go lizard hunting together. If Hawthorne catches the lizard first than he eats it but if I catch the lizard first than Hawthorne does not eat it and I can put it on his head and Hawthorne won't do anything. So if the lizards were smart they would let me catch them and not Hawthorne."

Sam - "Mom, can I go to the neighbors yard? I promise to put everything back"

4th of July

2010-07-05T09:19:00.001-07:00

I loved it all. Everyone bombarded the Hager family's home and due to their wonderful hosting, a great backyard where we could set up two mansion tents, family, and the joys of being together we had an amazing and fun weekend. My highlight was watching all the cousins and uncles play together. I am going to talk along with the pictures since so many delightful moments consumed the days, my words alone would do injustice of capturing the million moments of smiles.

With the Newkirk family, Blythe family, Miller family, Hager family, and Marc the house was full and as Leah's face expresses..... a little shocked but enjoying the explosion non the less. Yudi, Darren, and Ryan did such an amazing job as people were bursting out everywhere.

This cute little boy took having his house and yard taken over so well. He took everything in stride and if anyone gave him half a glance he was ready to meet your gaze with a smile. So naturally we were all looking at him.
My dear sister Danya and Sam. It did my heart so good to hug her and to see her family. The kids have grown so much and as always I left her wishing that they lived closer so that the visits between cousins was not so infrequent and far apart.
This beautiful family hosted with such graciousness. They will soon be a family of four and words can not capture my happiness for them. Love this family!!!!!
The guys would periodically take breaks from all the activities so play some cards.
At first Ethan was the one shooting Marc but if anyone knows Marc than you should know that if you squirt him than you are asking to get wet. I am pretty sure that Ethan loved every second of it.
Ryan and his Aunty Elana enjoying each other. Actually I think Ryan was saying, If I give you a cute grin can you take me to the water.
The race was on between the two 7 year old cousins. If Sam won than Ethan would politely ask if they could try it again. These two boys got along so well and were the best of competitive friends.
Emma and Brooklyn had their turn of racing too but they just enjoyed the fun of it with no competitive motivation spurring them on.
The four sisters enjoying our time around the table. It was great sitting together with them throughout the weekend and being with my sisters.
Smore time.
Josh helping Emma with her sparkler.
The kids watching the couple fireworks that Darren did set off before we all agreed (except Yoel) that the fireworks might not be completely worth the thousand dollar fine and Sam's fingers.
We set up two mansion tents in the backyard. It was the first camping trip for the Blythe family and our kids were just happy to be in a tent. Emma slept in the longest I think she has ever slept in, in her life. She did not wake up till 9:30 the next morning. So maybe I just need to have her sleep in a tent whenever I want to sleep in in the morning.
Matt and Leah working together on a project.
Brooklyn and Emma spent a lot of time on the hammock. Actually Brooklyn loved the hammock so much and spent most of her time relaxing on it. She even made rules about how many people could be on it and their gender. I think at one point it was one girl and one boy were allowed to be on the hammock.
Yoel, Ethan, and Leah
The boys. Danya got each of the boys a gap shirt and so naturally we had to do a photo shoot of them. Yoel 12, Matt 10, Ethan 7, Sam 7, and Ryan 1.
We made it home in time for the fireworks.
Hawthorne was glad to have his boy back and Sam was glad to have his dog.
It was such a wonderful 4th of July. The display of colors and explosions made me thankful of the colorful and unique personalities that make up our family. Loved spending time with my sisters and brothers. Loved watching all the cousins play together. Loved the family time and all the new memories made.
Thank you again Yudi and Darren for such a wonderful time. Love you

Gratitude and death defying jumps

2010-07-01T19:46:00.001-07:00

What a wonderful day. We went back to Brite Lake to see how the remaining tadpoles were doing and lo and behold there were little frogs to our hearts delight. Another day spent enjoying my kids doing something we all love to do, in the beautiful sunshine.

It took Emma 13 blows but she was determined to see the "flower fly away."
The frogs were small but they kept the kids busy all day.
Love these frog faces
Taking a picture of a frog on your nose took some timing but I thought this pic of the frog that took the leap for his life is hysterical. If you look close you can even see it's one hand up as if to wave goodbye to life.
Poor frog... Leah quickly picked it up after it's death defying leap and while it was still in shock we got the shot.
These kids drive me nuts and each other but every so often and a few time a day they get along great and genuinely love each other. I suppose it helps when all three are in rain boots and I said they can stand in the lake.
The kids were permitted to take home a limited number of frogs. They promptly came home and made them a habitat or as Sam put perfectly, "It is their fake home away from their real home before they go to heaven" and I am pretty sure before he finished that sentence one of the frogs went to meet his maker.
Well It is July 1st so in a couple days we are going to be celebrating Independence Day or as Emma calls it, "Fireworks Day." I am not a completely patriotic individual but with all the negativity that is flowing throughout our country it has led me to become increasingly grateful for the small niche in this world that permits me to live as we do, love my family as I do, and be the parent that I love to be. So gratitude motivated me to grab my camera, kids, and a worn flag in the hopes that I can imprint on my kids a thankfulness for living in America.

Sam has completely succeeded in scaring Emma out of enjoying any fireworks since he has taken it upon himself to inform her of how dangerous they can be. I am glad that he is aware of their danger but it is no fun having a three year old come running up to me, a few times a day, screaming that she does not want her hair and eyebrows to be burned off and she does not want to lose her cute hand and her cutest pinkie. We are never buying fireworks.... EVER
Sometimes I do not know who is raising Leah but yesterday she exclaimed that she wants to be a vegetarian for a week. And right now she is watching I Love Lucy (one of her favorite shows)

Actually we have been working on gratitude a lot lately. It is hard to raise grateful kids when they have a full time attentive mom at their beck-n-call. Today we spent the day at the lake with a lovely picnic lunch, went to farmers market and walked to every stall just to see what they had, went out for dinner where they got to order what they pleased and finally came home. Once home Sam asked to play the wii, "No Sam you are not playing the wii cause of your whiney, demanding tone throughout the day" My answer was immediately responded with, "you are so mean, you never let us do anything fun."

Leah keeps bugging me to do Wife Swap (another one of her favorite shows) and after days like today only to be ended with a comment like Sam's I have half the mind to do a wife swap. Grrrr and then they hug me, kiss me, and tell me they love me and all those million moments of ingratitude take a death defying jump from my heart, one hand in the air waving their last farewell until five min later when I am the meanest mommy in the world again cause it is bed time.

pokemon monopoly- a crazy answer

2010-06-29T15:33:00.000-07:00

Well if you have not concluded by my posts that I am always on a quest to find activities, crafts, and games to keep my kids busy or at least preoccupied from keeping me from going insane. So the other day we had gone and done our recycling which profited us 6.50 to spend at our leisure. The kids usually blow their portions at the gas station on junk or at the dollar tree on even junkier junk. So on this particular day I suggested to the kids that we go to the thrift store where there two dollars each would stretch a lot farther.

Leah walked out with a hoard of jewelry, a pair of sunglasses that were too big for her and two old lady reading glasses attachments. You know the beaded things that look like necklaces but they slide onto the end of your glasses permitting your glasses to hang from you neck. She had me laughing so hard under my breath as she walked out, thinking she was all that, while her big cheap sunglasses hang daintily from her neck.

Emma who had been given a donut was kinda forced (by me) to buy all the objects that she had successfully covered in chocolate. So out she walked with 2 bracelets, a christmas tree ornament, a pair of train overalls (which she claims as her train costume and now I have to take her on a train) and a daily pocket book from 2008.

And then there is Sam who proceeded to bring in a flat ball, a left handed glove, a pair of golf shoes that were huge, and a toy monster with a duck in its mouth (which he had put there.) I gently encouraged him to put those useless items aside and lets go look at what games they had and maybe a couple books. We went looking and before I could adjust my eyes Sam exclaims, "Pokemon!!!! and I think that it is a game" I was so happy to get him a game, even if all the pieces are not there, over a useless glove, ball, and shoes. All purchases made and home we go.

Well Sam's Pokemon game turned out to be a Pokemon monopoly game with all the pieces. The kids came home and after numerous questions on how to play they sat there for almost two hours playing. Then as soon as dad got home it was into another game. And first thing this morning and first thing after lunch. They are slowly learning how to really play the game and Sam is in love. At one point Sam was so desperate to play with someone that he was roping Emma in to play with him and doing everything in his power to keep the game going. After their short-lived game Sam came up to me and said that Emma should keep her job as the banker and leave the game playing to the rest of us.

The game has reinforced a few known facts about our kids that we already knew.

Like Leah is awful with money. In the middle of their game with dad, after Leah made one unwise choice after another with her money, I just looked at Ian and said, "That girl is not going to be allowed to move out of this house until she can play monopoly without losing all her money and is capable of making wise financial moves. Like why would you buy a 100 dollar piece of property from Sam who is asking 500 dollars to a 1000 dollars for it?!!!

With Sam this is going to be the moment when he is 45 that he looks back on and says, "Well I kinda knew that realty and property investments was for me when I got my pokemon monopoly game at the ripe age of 7."

Who would have thought of all the things I have bought to keep the kids playing together and out of my hair would be a pokemon monopoly game. Not something I would have picked off the shelf but thank you pokemon and all your weird little characters cause for the last 15 min I have been able to blog without being interrupted. :)

If they only knew....

2010-06-28T15:30:00.000-07:00

I broke down, much to Ian's dismay, and bought a pool. Due to the lack of grass and flat areas at our house we only set up the pool on Wed in Ian's parking spot. Which consequently means that the pool must be put away by the time Ian comes home. And like most things with kids the more effort/time/money/heart that you put into an activity the less time they will play with it, They did love playing in it for a short while than for one reason or another they were fighting or freezing or bored or ....... which has led me to write the following.....

If only they knew how much more I like to laugh with them than yell at them.

If they only knew how much more I love to dance with them than chase them.

If they only knew how much more I love to play with them than do chores.

If only they knew how much more I love to relax with them than always have something to do.

If only they knew how much more I love to hug them than restrain them. If only they knew how much fun I can be if they are not stressing me out.
If only they knew that love covers a multitude of their shortcomings but even love can run dry when all they display is their shortcomings.If only they knew how much I love being their mom.

If only they knew how much I want them to have a happy childhood.

If only they knew than maybe, just maybe, we can all get through the summer with consecutive happy days, love overflowing, and an insanely happy mama.

That is, if they only knew.....

The sayings of today

2010-06-24T20:14:00.000-07:00

Emma - "Mom you are pretty"

Mom - "Thanks Emma"

Emma - "But I am prettier"

Mom - "Did you see that man riding his bike backwards?"

Leah - "There was a man riding his wife who was going backwards?!"

Sam - Mom did you know that millipedes were worshiping God?

Mom - "Umm no Sam I did not know that. Where did you hear that one?"

Sam - "Oh it was in the bible... you should read it, it is really funny."

(The only thing that I could come up with is that he got Philistines, Israelis and millipedes all mixed up in worshiping God) Philistines - millipedes - Sam's speech impediment and imagination

Today we went to Farmers market and much to Leah's dismay we only went there to buy food (who would have thought.) Sam had brought 2 dollars and as I am buying some peaches Sam decided that he wanted to buy some kettle popcorn so from one turn around to another there is Sam standing with a bag of popcorn and a massive grin on his face. I love how independent he is I just wish that he would communicate with me but then again he is a boy (Ian's boy to be more specific).

And Emma is adjusting to an all day life of competition with her two older siblings. Even when Leah and Sam are not competing Emma is, which leads to numerous devastating moments for her. They got to the stand first, they picked a bigger peach to put in the bag, they got to the stop sign first, they got to the car first, they took a breath of air first. I really do not want her to have a frustrating summer but I suppose being the youngest and with her "all growed up" determination she has to figure this one out. I just would love for her to realize that the day can still be sunny even if Sam can pee standing up and she can't.... so well.

But I like calling you mom

2010-06-22T19:08:00.000-07:00

Emma at the computer while I was on our bed, -"Dad" turning around "hey you are not dad" coming off her chair and within an inch from my face, "but you do have short hair, and you do like fire, and you do like hot (tabasco)" and then with a grin she continued, "And you like hot fire, and warm fire but I like calling you mom" Ummmmm thanks Emma

In one of those numerous moments of raising Sam when he is all over the place, "Sam stop pushing my buttons"

Sam with all the coolness that he could muster came up within inches of me, thoroughly looking me over from head to feet, "I don't see any buttons I could push"

Leah although almost 10 still has some cute names for things, like when she is yelling from the kitchen, "Mom can I have a slice of antelope (cantaloupe?)" Shortly followed by Sam, "Mom if I don't push your imaginary buttons anymore can I have some antelope too?"

Yep so far we are having a great summer. I have banned all electronics i.e. tv, computer, and wii until after dinner which for our house seems to work well. We are definitely talking more or in my case listening more. I love to hear what comes out of their mouths, how their little, crazy minds are working and their viewpoints of life.

I am having the kids keep a journal that they have to write in everyday. Yesterday Leah came up to me and asked for some suggestions on what she should write about. By the third rejected suggestion I said, "Why don't you write about if you were a mom what you would do with your kids" Her eyes got big as she responded with "that would be freaky" then quickly walked away. Love it :)

Yelling the language

2010-06-20T15:09:00.000-07:00

It's Father's Day and so of course it got me to taking a deeper moment of appreciating Ian. Words cannot begin to capture the respect and appreciation I have towards the man our kids call dad. He has my heart and it is very happy. Ian not only has my heart but he has the heart of our children. They love him, respect him, love to spend time with him, repeat all that he does and join in on whatever he is doing. It thrills me to think of the wonderful living example he is daily displaying for the kids. He does not tell the kids to walk in a specific manner but he peacefully walks in a manner, with outstanding character, that continually creates a desire in the kids to walk in the same way. What completely wins my heart over, time and time again, is Ian's heart of being a dad. He teaches respect, loyalty, character, love, consideration, humor, and family are the most important things in life. Who you are is beautiful and life is about enjoying each other and life itself. Life is a journey and being a dad creates many an adventure which I see Ian face with a open and learning heart full of love and goodness for his family, for his children. Love is the loudest language and I am so thankful that the dad of our kids speaks loud in the language of love, sometimes even yelling it (literally).

He leads the kids and walks beside them.....

He provides amazing food and a love for time together
He works hard with never a complaint, providing for all our needs with eagerness and a willing heart
Leah's card/poem:

Thank you for all the things you did for me.

You might be small but your heart is huge.

No matter how you act I love you too.

F-faithful

A-awesome

T- thoughtful

H - healthy

E- enoying (annoying) sometimes

R- ready for anything

S- star watcher

Sam's card:

love, love, love dad, love dad

thank you dad for taking care of me

F- funny

A- amazing

T - trustworthy

H- happy

E- excellent

R- responsible

S- strong
Emma's card:

I love you. You make me feel that I love my daddy. You make me laugh when you love me. My favorite thing to do with my daddy is decorations. My every food to eat with daddy is eggs. I love my daddy this much, like closer to my house. My daddy like to make me dinner. Do you love me? Yeah, ok, Thank you
Happy Father's Day

We love you

Summer fever

2010-06-16T09:16:00.000-07:00

I am starting to get summer fever and I am loving it!!!! The best part of summer is getting to repeat all the smiles of my childhood with my kids, creating new smiles as I am absorbing their smiles. So to kick off our summer we went and found some mud......

And of course a pond with some tadpoles....
Emma kept catching them and throwing them back into the water
Sam caught a lot and then tried to see how many he could catch with his hands
And Leah just kept filling up her net....
And hands with as many tadpoles as she could
The afternoon lost in the world of mud and tadpoles.... :)
At first Leah was very proud that she brought her rain-boots as she could wade through the water
Until she went a little too far and her boots became the best buckets, water and tadpoles included
After the tadpoles Emma wanted to go catch a fish for her daddy in the big lake
But they all settled on a picture to capture a wonderful day.
I love it, we have rain boots, snow boots, dora sandals, and three big grins. I told the kids they could each bring 5 tadpoles home and we would be back in a month to take on the frogs. I can't wait. I am not surprised in the least that my children love mud, bugs, and tadpoles but I am grateful that I get to enjoy these days with them doing something we all love.

She belongs among wildflowers

2010-06-13T18:46:00.001-07:00

From one of my favorite songs to one of my little wildflowers. Beauty is belonging among the wildflowers.

Equipped with tabasco sauce

2010-06-11T11:01:00.000-07:00

Well last night our power went out, actually I think that it went out all over town. In the middle of my put-me-to-sleep show everything turned off including the bathroom light that we keep on for the kids. Initially I was annoyed and after the third time the power went back on for moments and then off again I went to see if anyone else had power. After gazing out our window and seeing no one in town with power I went outside to see the stars (they were amazing) and as I was soaking in the beauty of visibility of so many constellations I heard a kid crying out of fear. At first I thought, oh those neighbors got a freaked out kid, they are going to have fun with that one, then I realized that it was coming my girl's room. So I stubbled and felt my way to the girls room to find that Leah had woken up and was freaking out cause she was scared due to the complete lack of light in the house. I reassured her that everything was going to be ok, tucked her in and went to bed. Less than ten min later I heard from her bed, "Mom I need to pee and I can't see my way to the bathroom." With a sigh I stubble out of bed and feel my way over to Ian's bedside table thankful that he usually always has a flashlight there. Feeling my way around his table, over the crackers, books, remote, glass of water I finally grab hold of a cold, narrow object. Turning around, again mentally thanking Ian that he is such a flashlight fanatic, I run my hand down the side of the object looking for the button to turn the light on only to run into a paper wrapper. Only then and five feet from his bedside table do I realize that I was getting ready to assist my daughter, to go to the bathroom, in the dark with a tabasco bottle. I gently returned Ian's beloved tabasco bottle to it's proper place (his bedside table) and proceeded to find a candle which worked out much better than leaving little drops of tabasco sauce on the floor telling Leah to follow the scent to the toilet.

And it's summer

2010-06-10T18:48:00.000-07:00

Well today did not feel like summer but in my mind it is summer just the same because yesterday was the kids last day of school. I insanely love my kids and am so proud of them. No longer do I have a first and third grader, they have fled those nests and are continually expanding their wings. Ian and I took them to Thai food (for the first time) on their last day of school and oh how I wish I had my camera. They were a hoot and a holler with their chop sticks, loved the food and asked if we could eat Thai food once a week. We are now onto making all our wonderful plans for summer. I know there are many a moment that I wish I could drop them off at school for the day but there are more moments that I am thrilled to no end to have all my kids with me for each and every day. Glorious summer..... the mere thought gets me giddy.

And in true fashion of any celebration we had a dance session to kick up our heals to another chapter passed and to all the exciting adventures yet to come.

Emma is thrilled to have her big sis home.... yeah another girl in the house who likes painting toe nails just as much as she does.

The other day Sam desperately needed something to do so I sent him outside with my camera with clear instructions to take pictures of things that he sees as beautiful. I love what he came back with.
Shadows and flowers are beautiful
Apparently I am too although I was out there to make sure that he did not take any underwater pictures.
The toys on the roof would be beautiful if you were the one to put poor woody and the cheeky monkey on tile exile.
Of course your big sister would be beautiful
And finally this beautiful flower that was in our house but as he was about to give me the camera he quickly grabbed it back and announced, "just a min I see something else that is beautiful"
To my beautiful children, to a beautiful school year passed and to a beautiful summer to come.

Sam's First Grade School Journal

2010-06-05T14:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Sam came home with his school journal and as I sat reading through it my heart was just melting. He covers that glorious heart of his with lots of mischief but when I see his glorious heart it wins mine over all over again.
Some of my favorite entries are....

My favorite food is shrimp. It is joosea (juicy.) I like to put hot shos (sauce) on it. - Ian's way of eating shrimp

My favorite moovea (movie) is evreafing (everything) about animals. It is wilea (really) osum (awesome). - I just loved his spelling in this one.

My favorite holdae (holiday) is muthders (mothers) day. - Melt my heart

My favorite sog (song) is mommom mya (Mama Mia). I like it becuse my sister likes it. - That sister would be Emma who sings mama mia a dozen times a day.

My favorite cake is chocklit (chocolate). I like it bekus (because) it has vena (vanilla) in it. - Happens to be Ian's favorite cake, vanilla with chocolate frosting.

My favorite restrant is thay (Thai) food. I never wet (went) ther. - I keep wanting to take the kids there and Ian keeps saying that Thai food should be our date dinner not a family thing. I agree but I love how Thai food is Sam's favorite.

If I was a animal I wood (would) be a vampier (vampire) bat, becuse they scer (scare) kits (kids). - And this would be Sam

If I was food I wood (would) be beens. I would be boiled beens.

If I was a car I wood (would) be a van. With seven seas (seats).

And finally....
If I was the president I would never lie. Then I would help kids.

Water Park

2010-06-05T14:18:00.000-07:00

The kids as expected loved the water park. Emma was very content to walk around holding onto Daddy's hand staying far from any waterfalls or sprays.

Ready to conquer and get wet.....
Leah loved to see how long she could stand under the waterfall.
And Sam loved to see if he could get the water to hit me
Emma finally let go of a hand and was very proud of herself for going "under" the water.

I love these kids and their adorable faces
Floating down the river was all agreed upon the greatest part of the water park.
Of course Sam had his own way of doing things

And Emma took turns with her mommy and daddy for many a smiles and laps around the river
We even got a family pic out of the day
and a little towel slapping. No matter how hard Ian would flick Sam, Sam would keep coming back for more
And finally after a fun day in the sun and water Emma proceeded to insist on only wearing her pink rain boots and so out she walked in all her cuteness, pink bathing suit, and rain boots.

Sun, Sand, and Family

2010-06-02T07:12:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful way to spend a Sunday. When we first got to the beach the fog was completely wrapped around the beach to the point I was nervous about the kids going into the water for fear of not being able to see them but then the glorious sun came out and the day just flew by.

Sam literally from one moment to the next. He does the same thing to my heart and I much prefer his smile than frown.
Of course seconds after placing their towels down the kids have to check out the water. Papa Ray told Sam that there was a huge, people grabbing octopus in the water which kept Sam near the shore.
I love how curly Emma's hair gets at the beach and how big and often she smiles.
Ian taking a min to warm up
The kids and adults alike were thrilled to see the Goonies pirate ship. It really was fun as the fog was playing with its visibility.
Muna watching over the great-grandkids with the pirate ship in the background.
Sam and his SANDwich. He had spent the morning collecting sand crabs so his sandwich was really covered in sand but when I mentioned to Muna that Sam seems to be enjoying his SANDwich he proceeded to dip the end of his sandwich in the sand. He then held up with pride his sand covered lunch much to my dismay and seconds later to his dismay as well.
For about 30 min these two brothers were ten again. You could visibly watch the waves wash away their grown-up responsibilities of work, children, wives, bills, and everything else that weighs so heavy on them. It was the favorite part of my day to see them be kids again and get completely swept away in the moment. They discovered that they are not too old to have the waves wash them off their feet and that there really is no need to come in until their feet were so numb from the cold that they could not feel the sand or crabs.
Their smiles say it all.
Poor Alex was sick so he could not go into the water but thanks to Muna he still got to go on a boogie ride.
Leah spent hours digging a very impressive hole. She loved every second of it and was so proud of her results.
Still digging..... you can barely make her head out but this is all we saw of her for the most part of the day. LOVE this girl.
Cute, cute Lauren with all that attitude. I love this shot of her because despite only being one I would say that she means that look in her eyes and little smirk on her face with every ounce of her being. I loved getting to know her this weekend and she stole even more of my heart.
Well the wildlife was showing their little faces. We got to see dolphin swim by and if you look between the two girls on the left that black spot is a seal. It came right up to the beach so of course Leah and Sam went right out to it. My heart was racing and thankfully Ian got to Sam right before he went to try to pet it. SAM YOU DO NOT PET SEALS OR SEA LIONS!!!
Emma put her binoculars on and went looking for the dolphins and much to her delight she saw a pink dolphin with sparkles on it and it jumped out of the water and said hi to her like this, squeak squeak.
And after a day in the sun Sam realized that his mom is not very good at putting sun screen on. Sorry Sam I will buy the spray on kind next time.
It was a great day for everyone and my soul. Love the beach, love my family, and love being outside in the sun.

My Junior park rangers

2010-06-01T13:54:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend we took the kids to the national park museum for the Channel Islands and while checking everything out we discovered that Leah and Sam could become Junior Park Rangers after completing an information packet.

Leah had her binoculars on and said that they helped her see the details of the animals in the water.
If you look at the look on Sam's face he was not impressed by the actual size of the elephant seal.
Emma loved riding the seal and dolphin and was very content to do that the whole time Leah and Sam were working on getting their badges.
This is Leah in her element. She loves animals and facts about animals.
Leah and Sam did work very hard at completing their paperwork.

And with a little help from Muna

Yeah they were sworn in and received their badges and certificates.

Sam took the whole thing so serious that when the park ranger asked for his name to put on the certificate he said in all seriousness, "Samuel"
Love it.... love how my kids want to learn and take care of our world. I was proud of both of them for wanting to earn their Junior Park Rangers badges and certificate. Now I have a sworn statement from Sam saying that bugs and sea animals are no longer momentary toys of enjoyment but living creatures that we need to protect.

Today

2010-05-18T18:25:00.000-07:00

I have really wanted to post a post about my wonderful mother's day weekend but have been insanely busy so right now I am just going to post about today.

I feel like, as Sam would say, poop. I have been wanting to go to bed and sleep off my head cold all day but instead I found myself taking care of five kids, cleaning the girls room (in-depth) *shudder, made chicken stew, banana bread, did laundry and of course the general up-keep of the home.

Sam had a t-ball game today which would have been hysterical but due to the nasty weather and me being under the weather it was just funny instead. Between the girl who ran like she had flippers on her feet and the dad that had to come out to the outfield to grunt between his clenched teeth to his petite little boy, "quit flipping everyone off or I am going to break that finger" and never to fail the endless amount of kids that get bored with standing for more than 10 seconds and discover new games to play with their mitts or the grass or the ladybugs or anything within an arms reach of where the coach had placed them. And then there was Sam who had grabbed a left handed glove and was thus not catching or throwing anything cause he was using his wrong hands, he then went on to argue with the coach where the third baseman should be standing and once he resigned himself to stand where he should be he proceeded to just lie down and try to make whoever was on third base laugh. I marched out there and literally made him jump when I barked, "Are you done playing? Then listen to your coach"

There was no way that I was going to be keeping four kids in check, freezing and my head throbbing while Sam just did whatever. Well currently the kids are being fed and I am venting (if you had not noticed) and awaiting for either Ian or Mayra to show up so that I can go to bed and sleep of this dang head cold.

And then onto tomorrow......

T-Ball

2010-05-05T08:26:00.000-07:00

"Why are you laughing?" asked the six year old girl that I watch. Breaking out into another spout of laughter I responded with, "Because I am enjoying myself and it is funny"

There is something about a group of 5-7 year olds playing their first game of T-Ball ever. In fact I think that it was the first time most of the kids had ever held a bat or a glove. The concept of the game was lost on them all but oh the joy of watching them ALL race frantically after the ball to tackle it down or have them remain cemented to their spot as the ball comes to a stop within a foot of where they stand.

Sam was placed at the pitcher's mound moments after receiving his shirt and hat. Of course he did not pitch but I thought it was nice of the coach to ask him if he knew where the bases were. After Sam informed him that he did not but liked being in front of all the other players that were behind him, the coach proceeded to point out the bases and told him to throw it to first base if the ball was hit to him (which it was often.)

Sam also hit the ball the farthest and the beam on his face was priceless. Sam quickly figured out that all the action was between the pitcher and first baseman, since there were no outs in this game.

The plays went as such. The coach would toss the ball to the batter, if they did not hit it by the third toss than they would use the t-ball stand. The player would hit the ball, if it went past the pitcher than all the players in the field would proceed to chase down the ball. The lucky player would then throw it in the general direction of the first baseman (if he was still there) and then the first baseman would throw the ball to the pitcher who would give it to the coach.

Sam insured that he was either the pitcher or the first baseman. He loved it all and I, well I have not laughed so hard in a long time. I got some dirty strange looks from the other moms but I was not laughing at their children, they were just failing to laugh with me, with their children.

Trustworthiness

2010-05-01T14:22:00.000-07:00

I never thought that an award, one of my kids earned at school, would make me feel better than my child who received it. Yet when Sam told me he earned a character award I jokingly told him that I did not believe it (his behavior at school has left me with sleepless nights in the past), but when I found out that he had earned the character award for trustworthiness my immediate thought was how ironic.

Sam has a lot going for him but over Thanksgiving when he stole over a hundred dollars from Ian's cousin and then lied about it I, as his mother, felt a lot of things, above all a failure in the department of raising my son to be a trustful, honest individual. The consequences were great for Sam and the emphasis on being a trustworthy, honest individual has been a lesson for many a small moments in the months that have followed his criminal act. So when he brought home his award for trustworthiness my heart once again has been restored in this area. His teacher wrote in the award - Sam, I'm proud of the way you try to do the right thing. And when you are honest enough to accept responsibility for your actions.

I am so grateful that his teacher sees the desire in Sam to be the remarkable individual that we know he is and can be. When I was talking to Sam about what it means to be trustworthy and why he got the award he quickly responded with, "I got it cause I don't lie at school" For the last couple days I have been addressing Sam as, my trustworthy boy, and with each address he breaks out in a magnificent grin and so does my heart.

Taking back from facebook

2010-04-29T10:24:00.000-07:00

I was talking to my brother last night and he said that I have not been blogging that much lately. "I know, it is just easier to facebook the kids one liners instead of blogging" My brother (who had my blog printed) said but facebook is temporary but a blog is forever. I love my brother. So I am spending this morning with music in my ears and taking back from facebook.

Another reason that I have not been blogging lately is that for the last week or so I have been reading a book about insecurities. I was primarily drawn to the book cause I was fed up with my insecurities influencing my relationships. Yet during the last week I have felt that my soul's guts have been removed, exposed to light, analyzed, and cleaned. Now I am in the process of returning my soul's guts to their previous place and facing life better equipped and healthier. It is going to be a while but I am glad that I went under the knife of my own analytical self and can't wait to see the progress in my self. I am throwing this into my post cause I wanted to have a reference point to look back on and say, "since this date look how much more secure I am"

Ok now onto the kids..... oh my blessed kids. I took some of my one liners from facebook and thought that this first one perfectly starts out my facebook take-back .

I really. really like my kids. They are uniquely crazy enough that for the most part they are enjoyable. Especially Sam who is currently sitting on the toilet belching out Grand Ol Fwag

My kids are unique and crazy and I can't love them enough. I am so glad I am their mom, so glad they are who they are, and can't wait to go camping with them.

Apparently when asked what I put into a meal I must say, "Everything but the kitchen sink", all too often cause today when Emma and I were in the store ready to check out she said, "Mom we are getting everything IN the kitchen sink."

Emma never ceases to amaze me. Her personality is a bursting ray of sunshine. This last week she has learned how to write her first name and now we have Emmas popping up on every piece of exposed paper and tablecloth.

"Mom you have GOT to see this. It is AWESOME!! You have to see it. Look it is the moon for the whole wide, wide world." I want to be three again.

One of the best parts of being a stay at home mom to Emma is that everything is so amazing and she notices EVERYTHING. With spring in the air and wildflowers bursting out Emma does not pass a patch of flowers without exclaiming with new found delight, "It's Springing"

Just had to convince an older man that he had not seen Emma's face on tv. Once I confirmed that I was indeed her mom and would know if she had been on tv he seemed hesitantly resigned to walk away not at all convinced that I was right.

I know that Emma is beautiful and although she gets complimented on her hair every-time we go out in public I always mentally follow their compliment with, "it's a tangled mess comprised of half dread locks, half curls but hey enjoy" Yesterday while we were at the store an older lady asked Emma where she go her curls from, Emma responded with ,"From Safta" what the lady heard was, from Santa. The older lady turned to me with a horrified look on her face, "Did she just say that she got her curls from Santa?" I had to reassure her that I was not fairy-telling up Emma's daddy and that Emma had said Safta which means Grandma.

Well here we go onto Sam, I can't even type his name without a half grin, half wince spreading across my face. I love my boy to no end but boy does he challenge everything and everyone. He is insanely smart, creative, mischievous, adventurous and as a Calvin and Hobbes book has slowly been read through I was very much prompted to write this one liner on facebook...

I am so glad that Sam does not have a Hobbes

After Ian connected the dots he quickly responded with, "Sam already has a Hobbes, He is yellow, fat and goes by the name of Hawthorne (our dog)" I knew that Ian was more than correct. Which walks right into my next line from facebook...

Asking Sam to be calm is like asking a fish to please breath out of the water

He is slowly getting better but there are still more moments than not where calmness is obtainable to Sam like quietness and peace is to me in those moments.

Sam is currently crying cause he does not know what he would do if he were president (homework) well there goes a dream for my child that I never had

Sam is a leader, president, NO. He proceeded to say that he would want a water slide at school and to only eat broccoli.

Sam just got gum stuck in his hair and his friends hair. So far I have tried three different methods and threatened them both with bald patches. Sam is banned from gum for life.

Well I have been watching two other kids everyday, one which happens to be Sam's friend since preschool and who also happens to be a very good follower. That boy will follow Sam into every stupid idea, every dangerous quest and all with a giggle. This combo encourages Sam into some mother-frustrating situations. I just wish that one or both of them would grow up and get a brain but then again I suppose that this is what childhood is all about.... getting gum stick in your hair and your friends hair. I would like to add that without my knowledge Sam went ahead and cut a nice little bald patch on his head. His friend just sat down to watch tv as if half his head was not clumped together.

Leah oh Leah, on the ride to school this morning Sam exclaimed, " Leah when you are 13 you can be a teenager" Following their conversation you are not entitled to be considered a teen until there is a teen in your age but following my daughter around there is no waiting for the teen in her age she is already displaying numerous signs of a teen invasion. I am actually loving this stage in my first born. She is old enough to know a lot but still such a young child.

Leah - We should get a flag for our house.

Dad- What kind of flag should we get?

Leah - An American state flag or a McDonald's flag.

I strongly believe that if Leah can come out of her childhood with a close friendship with her brother than she will have succeeded in life. She struggles with Sam like only a sister and brother can struggle with each other. So it is not very often that sentiments of love, concern, and affection arise from my little lady but when she came to be in tears with the following statement I got a fuzzy warm feeling inside,

Leah after accidently poking Sam in the eye, "I damaged him again. That is the second time in his life that I have damaged him."

Mind you she has injured Sam a whole lot more than twice in his life but I loved her use of the word damaged. I just mentally envisioned Sam as a grown up explaining why he is not functioning well, "My sister damaged me when I was a child, just put me down as a damaged good"

And oh the drama, now anyone who knows me knows that I am not a drama queen, in fact I will avoid drama like a pedicure or like a mall queen would camping, so you can only imagine the kind of response from me that my little drama queens get when they are in the mental minute of drama. It is usually met with, "get over yourself" So the following conversation really sent me into a smiling fit.

Leah - Emma don't be such a drama queen.

Mom- Yes Emma we only have room for one drama queen in a family at a time.

Leah -Yeah and until I move out that is my job (smiling)

Well there we have it... I have successfully spent an hour on the computer with music in my ears, taken back from facebook and I feel really good about it. Thank you brother for the motivation.

Ian's surprise birthday party

2010-04-22T08:07:00.001-07:00

Well my dear husband has now turned 30. Since he is not that big on parties or surprises I wanted to have a surprise party for him. For a week I thought that he knew but much to my delight he was genuinely surprised.

We had a pinata filled with Ian's favorite candies, butterfingers and heath bars. Ian got the first and last swing and everyone had fun with it.

The kids were in search for the flying candy as the adults would slowly grab the ones that were on the edge of the kids circle.

Ian got some great presents but the one that melted his heart the most was the one from Emma. Emma and I were shopping with Ian's birthday in mind when she spotted something out of her dreams. Literally out of her dreams, it was a pink and purple stuffed dolphin with sparkles on it. She immediately grabbed it, claimed its name as Sparkles and it was for her daddy. I was touched and without any sign of self control for his actual birthday she gave it to him that evening as soon as he got home from work. She was beaming with pride as she handed Sparkles to her dad. Shortly after it was bed time and as she is stroking Sparkles she sheepishly went up to Dad and asked, "Can I sleep with Sparkles tonight? I will take good care of it and will not get it dirty." After a moment of hesitation Ian permitted Emma to sleep with his Sparkles as long as she took good care of it. With many nods of reassurance Emma, once again beaming, dotingly took Sparkles to bed. Emma has since been taking care of Sparkles for her daddy.

Ok so everyone who knows Ian knows that he is not a big dessert person so when Lacey asked what kind of cake to make I said, vanilla with chocolate icing. Yeah apparently I should pay more attention to the one kind of cake Ian likes cause it is not vanilla it is yellow cake. Opps
And to end the party off there is nothing like family, friends, beer, and a good game.

Happy 30th Birthday Ian. You are so loved and appreciated.... even if you do drive us crazy at times.

A mom is not allowed to be sick

2010-04-20T14:03:00.001-07:00

To begin with I am going to start with my title, A mom is not allowed to be sick. For some reason our rather healthy home has come down with all sorts of sneezes, runny noses, and sore throats. Yesterday Leah stayed home from school with a sore throat and Ian has strep throat. I know that moms are not allowed to get sick but yesterday it struck me just how much moms are not only, not allowed to get sick, but they are forbidden from being sick. Let me expand.... as Ian is laying in bed after a day on the couch and many helpful hands to refill his cups and get his medicine, I asked him how he is doing. "Oh my body aches from my fever, I can't get warm, and my throat is killing me." I responded with understandable sympathy, "Sorry hunny, those are the same symptoms I had." "When did you have this?" was his response. "Well lets see, I was up all Monday night with a fever which continued through Tuesday and have yet to feel completely better." And there it was, my own husband knew that I was not feeling well but due to the fact I was not permitted to be sick had not noticed just how unwell I was until he himself came down with the illness. A mom cannot call in sick, the kids are still taken to school, laundry is still done, cleaning still accomplished, dinners still made and somehow a mom still recovers. Ian is like Sam when he is sick, give him the remote or Zelda and they are good for the day. Make some chicken soup from scratch, buy some sprite and await the day when they are back into the full swing of things. Ok I am done with sicknesses, literally I can't wait for our entire house, myself included, to be healthy.

Things that have made me smile this week.....

I had gotten the kids some beanbags and after Sam had asked me what was inside the beanbags he responded with, "Save the Planet, plant a beanbag"

I was teaching Sam's sunday school class and we were talking about David protecting his dad's sheep from lions. One boy said that he would have just gotten a gun and shot the lion. Another boy quickly responded with, "They did not have gun powder back then." I did not have the heart to say there was a complete lack of guns back then so found myself whole heartedly agreeing that a gun would have been handy but gunpowder would have been needed.

Emma was talking with one of my friends about Ian's birthday when she paused mid sentence and turned to me, "Mom, what's Dad's number now?" That would be 30 Emma.

As mentioned earlier Leah stayed home from school and our rule is that if you stay home from school you have to stay in your room until school gets out (helps prevent false sicknesses.) Well half way through the day Leah, who had made a remarkable recovery after a pleasant sleep-in, started to get bored with her room and wanted to come out to play. "Leah you know the rule" was my firm response. "Mom you know that I am learning about the body at school and I know that a healthy body should always be celebrated so you should not punish me for having a healthy body now we should celebrate."

We had a surprise birthday party for Ian in which we actually surprised him. It went really well with Ian feeling loved. I was going to blog about it all but for some reason our computer is not letting me load pictures so I am just going to make mention of it and do a proper post with pictures and all later.

Yep so here is to health, smiles and a mere mention of my hubby's birthday.

Wall Art

2010-04-12T10:37:00.000-07:00

When you have kids wall art takes on a whole other meaning. Instead of Picasso we get crayola. Yesterday Ian was looking at a line on the wall and had to ask, "Is this a crack or a pencil mark?" And this morning I noticed that Ian cannot leave his crossword pencil next to the toilet anymore since the "art" work on both sides of the toilet seems to be expanding upward and outward. The kids are even placing their names next to their recent artwork or as they claim the other guilty party is placing the other siblings name next to the drawing to get them into trouble. Despite the wall art through out our house this act is not encouraged, in fact, there are grave consequences if new work is found. The following self expression has led me to reflect on how walls and children can change your thought process. For example, after hours of scrubbing with little improvement I find myself randomly driving to Home Depot just to see what paint is on sale. And once there I find myself only looking at the paint and colors that are super washable. Anything that is not super washable is just a waste of time and money. I have thought about throwing away all pencils and crayons yet due to school work we have to have a couple. Then there is the thought of locking up all dangerous items in the safe only to be removed under close supervision. Yet when all is said and done and as I walk around our home glancing at all our free wall art there is a part of me that likes to see the kids creativity on display. And I am under conviction that despite all my verbal intolerance of the kids wall art they have the ability to see within me that part that likes their wall art. Maybe I should go get some frames and frame it all just so it looks more like art and less like kids running wild in our home.

Conversation that make up my life

2010-04-09T15:52:00.000-07:00

The moment I realized that our boy is focusing on the wrong adult. He should be watching dad a little closer and me a little less.

Sam - When does someone move out of the house?

Mom - When they are ready.

Sam - I'm ready

Mom - Well when I say you are ready. Like when you have a job to pay for food and a house.

Sam - My husband will pay for it.

Easter morning on the ride to Grandma's for the egg hunt.

Sam - Leah is going to get the most eggs. I heard it on the morning news.

The moment of Leah physically noticing that she is quickly approaching the teen years.

Leah - I think one of my boobs is getting bigger. It's like there is a little lump in it.

Mom - Well it looks like we are getting there. Where you are starting to grow up.

Leah - Growing up means your boobs get bigger!?!!!

The moment that I realized no matter how many times I make a point having a sense of humor is more important.

Me - Hunny, I have had a rough week and a half, please try and be more encouraging.

Ian - Your awesome with whatever your trying to get done in the day.

The moment that I realized that Emma is really absorbing everything she is watching on tv.

Emma - That shirt is psychedelic.